Never Admire Quietly

Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 20-30 minutes.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

Welcome back and a big hello to our newest subscribers, I really appreciate you taking the time to read along.

I am writing this as I soar through the skies over the Indian Ocean, on my way to Sri Lanka for a couple of weeks with my family.

Excited to experience this incredible country for the first time.

This weeks newsletter is an invitation to notice what you appreciate.

And then, actually express it.

You know, the words we often keep in our heads that would lift others (and ourselves) if they ever left our lips.

We also celebrate the grounded hope and optimism of Brianna Fruean and share a book that encourages rediscovering play as adults.

All of it comes back to small, very human choices.

Compliments, courage, curiosity, fun and self-honesty.

So grab a cuppa, take your time and notice what lands for you as you read on.

Have a great week!

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

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Ever caught yourself thinking something kind about someone, but then said nothing?

You aren’t alone.

We often think wonderful things about people, but somewhere between our thoughts and our words, the moment slips away.

We do this more than we realise.

Maybe we decide to wait for a better time, or assume it’s something they already know.

But most of the time?

They don’t.

When we hold back, we miss the chance to make that person’s day a little lighter.

And the chance to remind them you see them and appreciate what they bring into the world.

Everyone of us could use a little more of that.

Research focused on compliments and positive feedback reveal that expressing sincere appreciation benefits both the giver AND the receiver.​

The concept of “never admire quietly” is an invitation to address this gap and bring more connection into our lives.

It reminds us to verbalise the good we see, acknowledge the positive and share the ways that people make a difference in our world.

Let’s be honest, sometimes expressing admiration can make you feel vulnerable.

Why?

Because it’s letting your guard down a little and admitting “You matter to me.”

What if it’s awkward or they brush it off?

Sure, that can make it feel risky.

But research actually demonstrates something much more encouraging.

Most regularly underestimate how good their compliments will make others feel.

AND overestimate how awkward it will actually be.

In several studies, people expected their praise to land as mildly uncomfortable but recipients actually felt happier, more grateful and far less awkward than the giver imagined.

That mismatch causes many to stay quiet when they could be lifting someone.​

It’s the words we hold back that often carry the most power.

They remind others that their presence matters and they remind us that compliments deserve to be spoken.

Think about a compliment or a kind word from your past that stayed with you.

It might have been from a leader noticing the quality of your work or a friend calling you their calm during tough times, maybe even a stranger commenting on your kindness during a brief encounter.

These moments linger.

Long after they’ve been said.

I feel grateful to have friends who are genuinely open and honest with one another.

Friends who take the time to say the things that make a difference.

There are many conversations that I can replay in my mind on the days I need a lift.

Simple sentences that remind me who I am and what I bring.

The power of those moments is incredible.

They can reshape how you see yourself.

A few genuine words at the right time can steady you, soften you, or push you forward when you need a nudge.

Again, research backs this up.

Genuine compliments activate our brain’s reward systems.

Boosting our mood, providing motivation and growing out sense of connection.

Not only for the person receiving, but also the person giving.

That’s the magic of sharing admiration.

It travels further than we realise and … everyone wins.

There are some who believe that admiration is somehow more meaningful when it’s left unspoken.

That it’s purer if felt, not said.

But admiration that stays silent raely grows, it fades.

Silence turns gratitude into regret and affection into “I wish I’d said something.”

Life rarely offers perfect timing.

The best moment to speak from the heart will almost always be now.

When you admire something about someone, let ‘em know.

When Chimamanda Adichie said, “Give people their flowers while they’re still here,” she was talking about courage, not bouquets.

The courage to express warmth in a world that too often celebrates cool detachment.​

When you tell someone, “I see you,” something beautiful happens.

You lift them, of course.

But you also lift yourself.

You start to notice more of the good in people.

Those close to you and those all around you.

Where judgment used to sit, appreciation starts to take root.

Researchers who study other-praising emotions like admiration and gratitude have discovered that these feelings motivate us.

They motivate us to be kinder.

To deepen our relationships and inspire us to grow.

Over time, that simple act of saying the good out loud changes the way you move through the world.

Your life starts to bloom in gratitude.​

Start small.

Choose one person this week and tell them something you genuinely appreciate about who they are or what they bring to your life.

You might say:

Keep it simple and sincere.

You don’t need perfect words, you just need to mean them.

If saying it out loud feels unnatural, write it instead.

Send a text, leave a note, or send a message that says how you feel.

That small moment of sincerity can become a memory that lasts for years.

One compliment can start a chain.

You make one person feel seen and they carry that feeling into their next conversation.

Slowly.

Room by room.

Conversation by conversation.

The tone shifts.

Imagine if we lived in a world where it was normal to voice our admiration as easily as we share our opinions.

The atmosphere would feel lighter.

More connected.

More open.

The more you look around, the clearer it becomes.

People who constantly criticise generally feel small inside.

While people who freely give compliments seem to walk so much lighter.

Choosing admiration over judgment is a powerful choice that benefits all involved.

Because beneath most misunderstandings and emotional distance?

Lies an innate human need.

To be seen and appreciated.

Expressing admiration meets that need.

It says, “I notice you, and what you bring matters.”

Kindness also has a beautiful way of spreading.

When you start speaking the good out loud, others often feel inspired to do the same.

One small act can set off a ripple that will travel further than you know.

An impact that research on positive social contagion shows across many settings.​

So why stop at one?

Let those ripples spread.

Kindness is a universal language.

Speak it often.

Sometimes, the best way to change the energy around you is to start small and go first:

These tiny choices may seem insignificant at times, but they’re powerful.

Be part of the solution.

Not part of the problem.

There are countless ways to make someone’s day lighter, and most of them take seconds.

Here are some practical ways to brighten someone's day:

1. Speak it when you feel it: If you feel admiration for someone, share it right then. Don’t wait for the “right” moment, it rarely comes. Spontaneous appreciation feels genuine and lands where it’s needed most. They’ll likely feel far more grateful and far less awkward than you expect.​

2. Notice what moves you: Make it a habit to notice the qualities that inspire you. The more you look for the good? The more you’ll start to see it everywhere. This simple shift in attention will transform your perspective in the best way.

3. Keep sincerity at the centre: Forget the fancy phrasing. The simplest words, spoken from the heart, often carry the greatest weight. Real connection doesn’t need polish. It needs honesty. Authenticity matters more than eloquence.​

4. Use words to connect, not impress: Admiration is more about sharing than performing. When your goal is connection, your words naturally reach where they’re meant to and you’re more likely to experience the emotional benefits that come with giving praise.

5. Remember, your voice matters: Never underestimate the impact of your words. A few authentic sentences may stay with someone for years. Sometimes, what feels small to you becomes meaningful to them.

Never admire quietly.

When someone inspires you, moves you, or adds light to your life?

Tell them.

Say it clearly, say it sincerely and say it while they’re present to hear it.

Life moves quickly and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

Right now, you have the chance to remind someone that who they are makes a difference.

Your words might be the spark that lifts them, grounds them, or helps them see themselves with new appreciation.

And in giving that gift you’ll find that your own world will feel brighter too.

When we give our words generously?

Everything around us feels a little more alive and a whole lot more human.

So, let me finish by telling you how much I admire you.

For being the kind of person who reads a piece on compliments and thinks, “Yep, I want to do more of that.”

So next time something kind crosses your mind?

Let it cross your lips too.

If you’d like to explore this idea even further, this 9‑minute video dives into how genuine compliments transform both the giver and the receiver:

On some mornings in Samoa, the ocean looks harmless.

Blue, bright, familiar.

Yet for Brianna Fruean, every wave that kisses the shoreline carries a question.

What happens to our home when the water keeps rising?

Samoa is already living with the realities of a warming world.

Higher seas nibbling at the coast, saltwater seeping into crops and freshwater and stronger storms that threaten homes, roads and villages close to the shore.

Low‑lying areas face gradual but relentless erosion and each new tide is a small preview of what unchecked climate change could bring.

For Pacific communities that have contributed the least to the crisis yet stand to lose the most.

Brianna Fruean is a Samoan climate activist who has spent more than half her life speaking for the Pacific.

She began her advocacy as a child and became one of the most recognised young voices on climate justice.​

Her story matters because she shows how grounded optimism can sit right alongside clear-eyed realism.

Turning fear for her islands into forward motion for her whole region.​

She often reminds the world that the inhabitants of Pacific Islands are not just victims of climate change but resilient beacons of hope.

Describing their youth as warriors, protectors and leaders who refuse to be reduced to stories of loss.​

Her language stays rooted in dignity and collective strength.

Framing her community as active shapers of the future rather than passive symbols of crisis.​

At just 11 years old, Brianna began to notice and observe shifts in Samoa's weather and coastlines.

Her findings inspired her to co-found 350.Samoa and spearhead the youth environmental initiative, Future Rush.

These platforms have been a vehicle to rally local communities around climate action and sustainable development.​

She invited other young people into clean-up projects, awareness campaigns and local actions, so they saw themselves as agents of change rather than simply bystanders on a threatened shore.​

By her mid-teens she was already taking Pacific stories into global rooms and carrying her wisdom into international spaces.

At 14, she represented Pacific youth at a UN Conference on Sustainable Development in Rio, and at 16 she became the youngest recipient of a Commonwealth Youth Award for climate and environmental protection.​

Brianna has spent years visiting schools across Samoa.

Talking openly about climate change and helping children and teens understand both the risks and their own power to respond.​

Her steady, everyday work is where her optimism takes root.

In classrooms and communities long before the cameras arrive.​

Her strength, as she often says, is “village-made.

Rooted in family, culture and the support of elders and peers who remind her she is never paddling alone.​

Her optimism feels like a carefully steered canoe.

Guided by her community rather than a lone hero pushing through the storm.​

In 2021, Brianna spoke before presidents and prime ministers at the opening of the World Leaders Summit at COP26 in Glasgow.

She told them, “You don’t need my pain or my tears to know that we’re in a crisis.”

Refusing to turn her people’s suffering into a spectacle while still demanding urgent action.​

She also shared the Pacific warrior cry: “We are not drowning, we are fighting.”

A phrase that has since echoed around the world as a call to dignity and resistance.​

It captures her blend of realism (the water is rising) with agency (people are still choosing how to respond) and offers a powerful reframe from helplessness to collective courage.​

Brianna also serves on the Council of Elders for the Pacific Climate Warriors, supporting a movement that lifts up frontline Pacific voices and stories.​

In 2022, she received the Global Citizen Prize: Citizen Award Samoa for her leadership in climate justice and her commitment to representing small island states on the global stage.​

Brianna’s life might feel far from your everyday routines.

But the emotional landscape she shares, her fear about the future, love for home and the urge to do something?

Feels familiar.​

Her story offers countless practical lessons you can absorb, here’s a few:

Turn anxiety into action: She transformed early fear about her island’s future into concrete steps: forming groups, joining movements, showing up.​
Whenever worry about any part of your life—health, work or the wider world—starts looping in your mind, ask, “What is one small action I can take?” and let motion interrupt the spiral.

Stay honest and hopeful together: She doesn’t sugarcoat the climate crisis, she consistently speaks about solutions, solidarity and possibility.​ You can acknowledge what hurts without letting it be the only part of the story.

Remember you are “village-made”: Brianna credits her strength to being rooted in family, her elders and community.​ Naming the people and places that shape you can remind you that you don’t have to face big challenges alone, even if they feel global in scale.

Think collective, not heroic: She sees herself as one paddle in a canoe, part of Pacific Climate Warriors and wider youth movements.​ Rather than aiming to be a lone saviour, let shared effort lighten the load.

Protect what you love, not just what you fear: So much of her language centres love. For the land, ocean, ancestors and future generations.​ When you connect your efforts to what you cherish, discipline feels more like devotion and less like punishment.

There is something deeply moving about the way Brianna stands between worlds.

On one side, the shoreline of a small island already feeling the sea rise.

On the other, the halls of global power where decisions about that shoreline are made.​

In both places, she carries the same message.

People are worthy of protection, people are powerful and people are not giving up.​

Conversations about climate often slide into extremes.

Despair or denial.

Brianna’s grounded optimism offers a different path.

One where people look directly at the storm and still choose to paddle.

Together, with courage and care.​

Her story reminds us that optimism is more of a practice than a mood.

One small choice at a time, to protect what we love.

Even when the tide feels relentless.​

Maybe that’s the invitation to us inside Brianna’s story?

To keep showing up with our whole, imperfect selves and to keep choosing to care.

Even when the future feels uncertain.

Because every small act of hopeful courage.

Every conversation, every choice to protect what matters.

Helps steady the canoe we’re all riding in together.

To feel the full power of her words, here’s Brianna’s short COP26 speech. It’s less than three minutes long and captures her calm, steady approach:

There’s a moment in life that many adults face but rarely name.

It’s the instant when something feels heavy and serious, and a part of you wonders, when did life stop feeling playful?

To many, play gets left behind with childhood toys, schoolyards and long summer afternoons.

Playful: How Play Shifts Our Thinking, Inspires Connection, and Sparks Creativity invites you to reclaim that part of yourself.

The author, Cas Holman, is a designer known for creating open-ended play experiences and toys like Rigamajig.

She brings a thoughtful, design-minded lens to why play matters just as much in boardrooms and living rooms as it does on the playground.​

And I couldn’t agree more.

Playful identifies play as a core human instinct that fuels creativity and problem-solving.

Especially for adults who have accidentally organised it completely out of their lives.

Holman suggests that play is not a distraction from real life but a powerful way to think more freely, see new possibilities and connect more deeply with others.​

The ideas feel especially timely in our anxious, hyper-productive world where rest and curiosity too often get treated like guilty pleasures.

Playful encourages a different approach.

One where imagination and a lighter grip on perfection can make you more effective and more creative.​

One of the most striking ideas from the book is Holman’s concept of play as freely chosen, personally directed and intrinsically motivated behaviour.

That definition moves play well beyond games or hobbies and into everyday life.

The way you run a meeting.

How you cook dinner.

How you take a walk.

Or even how you brainstorm a new idea.

They can all become more playful when you bring the spirit of freedom and curiosity.​

Holman also returns often to the idea that we don’t need to learn how to play.

We need to unlearn how not to play.

Years of striving, judging and performing dull our natural instincts to experiment and to be silly.

Or sadly how to try something new without worrying how good we are at it.

A problem many adults face.

The book shines when it shows how loosening that judgment opens the door to more of you that you’ll enjoy spending time with.​

Play is a mindset, not a location: Your commute, your email, your family routines and your workday can all become more playful when you look for small chances to improvise instead of staying on autopilot.​

Release judgment to unlock creativity: Letting go of the need to be good at something before you start gives you permission to experiment. This is where fresh ideas and new insights tend to surface.​

Reframe what success looks like: Instead of measuring success by productivity alone, try looking at engagement, presence and connection. Did you feel alive? Did you connect? Did you learn something new about yourself or others?​

Play connects us: Shared playful moments. Regularly. Inside jokes, imaginative conversations, collaborative problem-solving. These simple moments help deepen relationships and remove the invisible walls between people.​

If I’m being honest, this book was not the easiest to move through.

Some sections felt a little slow and required more effort than expected, especially given how energising the topic of play can be.

At the same time, I have a strong belief in it’s core concept.

Life simply flows better when play is involved.

Playful moments make any environment more enjoyable.

At home, at work, with friends.

That truth runs underneath the entire message of the book.

Any task will feel lighter and more engaging when a dose of playfulness is added.

That reminder alone makes the book worthwhile.

Playful reads like a permission slip to reintroduce wonder into everyday life without sacrificing your ambition or purpose.

This makes it a great read for anyone craving more joy in their days.

For me, that’s exactly what play offers.

A practical way to lean into the brighter side of everything, even on ordinary days, by choosing curiosity and lightness over pressure and perfection.

When you think about your own life, where does play already show up?

And where has it quietly disappeared?

Your ideas may be the exact inspiration someone else around you needs right now.

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

We all hit that moment.

The one that’s both uncomfortable and freeing.

When it dawns on us that we’ve been standing in our own way.

The quote above puts it bluntly: “Getting your shit together requires a level of honesty you can’t even imagine. There’s nothing easy about realizing you’re the one who’s been holding you back this whole time.”

It takes courage to face that truth.

Realising that your fears or your own excuses have been the barrier all along isn’t easy.

But it’s also the moment where the power returns to you.

Facing yourself honestly is less about self-blame and more about taking your power back and making a conscious change.

The moment you stop pointing outward and start looking inward?

You move from powerless to purposeful.

Honesty with yourself can sting a little at first.

It means acknowledging when you’ve stayed comfortable instead of growing.

When you’ve avoided a hard truth.

Or you’ve convinced yourself you weren’t ready.

I’ve had those moments too.

Times when I said, “I’m just too busy right now,” when deep down, I was afraid to fail.

Admitting that truth changes everything.

One thing I’ve learned is that pessimism and avoidance might feel safer for a while, but they will keep you stuck.

When you believe you can’t move forward, you stop trying to.

Optimism paired with honesty, however, opens that door.

It invites you to see possibilities instead of obstacles and to step into accountability instead of excuses.

Being honest with myself has taught me that I’m not powerless.

I’m responsible.

This simple shift from “why bother?” to “what can I do?” has led to opportunities, deeper relationships and real progress.

True self-honesty can realign the entire direction of your life.

Here are a few small but powerful ways to practice self-honesty this week:

Ask what’s really holding you back: Go beyond the surface. Is it fear, procrastination or uncertainty about where to start?

Question your excuses: When you say “I don’t have time” or “I’ll start next week,” ask yourself, “What’s the truth underneath that?”

Write down three areas of your life: Areas where you know something needs to shift. Then choose one small, honest action to move yourself forward.

Be kind but clear: Honesty works best with compassion. Instead of judging yourself, acknowledge where you are and take one intentional step toward change.

Every time I’ve sat with uncomfortable truths, it has led to growth.

The truth may sting, but it also sets you free.

When you stop hiding behind reasons and meet your reflection openly with courage, you rebuild trust with yourself.

Growth requires owning what’s within you.

That’s where your real power lives.

The truth may be heavy at first.

But it’s what ultimately teaches you how to fly.

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Start (or end) each day with a moment of reflection and positivity.

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It's a powerful cycle of hope and optimism.

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