Standing By Your Choices

Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 20-30 minutes.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

I’m glad to see you again, it means the world that you choose to spend some time with me each week.

This week is all about the choices we make.

The strain of keeping every door open vs. the calm that comes when you actually commit to a path.

We also discuss how travel and curiosity (with a little help from Mark Twain) can stretch the way we see the world.

There’s also an album that’s been on repeat and reminding me how good it feels to go all‑in on something you enjoy.

Something I hope each of you does on a regular basis.

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

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We live in a world where everything seems possible.

New careers, new destinations, new relationships.

New ways to reinvent ourselves.

It’s easy to believe that the happiest life is the one with the most doors (options) open.

Each moment holding an escape hatch to something better.

But when you look at people who are genuinely grounded and content?

Something else stands out.

Their joy doesn’t stem from the possibility of endless options.

It comes from the peace of fully inhabiting the choices they’ve already made.

This might sound simple, even countercultural.

The happiest lives belong to those who make a choice, close the mental door behind them and then pour their energy into living that choice fully.

It’s an under appreciated superpower.

The courage to commit.

Modern life constantly whispers a seductive message.

Keep your options open.

Don’t commit too soon.

Stay flexible.

Just in case something better comes along.

At first glance, it can sound like freedom.

There’s a tipping point though.

Where more options stop feeling like possibility and start feeling like pressure.

Psychologist Barry Schwartz calls this the paradox of choice.

Once options reach a certain point, each new possibility adds a layer of friction rather than freedom.

Our brain begins to spin.

Is there a better one?

Did I miss something?

What if I regret this?

That inner swirl pulls you away from the present and into an exhausting mental loop.

This is also where chasing perfection can sneak in.

When good is never good enough and only the best will do?

Every choice becomes a test.

You hold your life up against an imaginary ideal and, of course, reality will always come up short.

Over time, that pattern chips away at your joy.

And your confidence.

Think about it in travel terms.

Imagine planning a once in a lifetime trip.

At first, you feel excited.

Scrolling destinations, comparing beaches and shifting itineraries.

Then you watch the fiftieth video.

Read the hundredth review.

Suddenly the decisions feel heavier instead of lighter.

You finally book something but keep wondering if you should’ve gone somewhere else.

The trip is real.

The regret is imagined.

But your body responds to the imagined version.

As if it were real.

That’s the paradox.

While more options and a perfection standard might promise a better life.

More often they deliver fatigue, self‑doubt and a nagging sense that you’re never quite getting it right.

My favourite idea from decision science outlines the difference between maximisers and satisficers (yes, its a word).

Because it gives language to what many of us feel.

But can’t quite name.

Maximisers feel driven to make the best possible choice in almost every situation.

Career, partner, destinations … dinner.

They read every review.

Collect every opinion and keep scanning the horizon for something a bit better.

There’s a perfection flavour to this approach.

A belief that somewhere out there is the flawless choice that will quiet the restless feeling inside.

Satisficers, though, decide on what truly matters.

Values, needs and non‑negotiables.

Once an option meets those?

They give themselves permission to stop searching and move forward fully.

Good enough is less about settling and moreso aligning with what matters.

And releasing what doesn’t.

Research has consistently found that maximisers report lower happiness and higher regret.

Even when they achieve impressive outcomes.

They might get the higher salary.

The better deal.

The more prestigious title.

But their minds stay busy imagining the alternatives they overlooked.

As a result?

Satisfaction keeps slipping through their fingers.

Satisficers feel calmer and more content.

Because they’ve made peace with the idea that no option will ever be perfect.

They’re building a meaningful life rather than chasing a perfect one.

The key difference is where your energy goes.

Maximising perfection channels your energy into evaluating and comparing.

Satisficing channels your energy into living and growing.

There’s a sentence I keep returning to and the one inspired me to write this.

The happiest people aren’t the ones with the most options, but the ones who stop questioning their choices.

This speaks directly to a pattern that keeps many people stuck.

When a decision feels reversible?

When you tell yourself, I can always change my mind.

Your brain stays half in.

But also, half out.

It keeps replaying what if scenarios, imagining better alternatives and measuring your current path against an idealised one.

If you believe there’s always a better choice around the corner?

You’ll never feel safe inside the choice you made now.

You keep one foot out the door, both emotionally and mentally.

A constant state of evaluation like this will drain your sense of satisfaction.

The cost is more than just an emotional one.

It also claims your energy.

Every moment you spend ruminating on a past choice?

Is a moment you aren’t deepening your relationships, savouring an experience right in front of you or building something meaningful (in the life you already have).

Perfection promises that if you keep tweaking, improving and optimising, you’ll eventually arrive at a place where you can finally relax.

Despite this, the habit of never enough follows you into every new decision.

When you finally stop the endless internal review?

You reclaim a huge amount of energy.

That reclaimed energy is exactly what you need for joy, creativity and growth.

You can design your life so choices feel both meaningful and contained.

This means creating a structure that allows you to experience freedom through depth, rather than endless width.

Here’s a few practical ways to do that:

Set good enough criteria before choosing: Decide what really matters. Your values, how you want to feel and what you won’t compromise on. Once an option meets those, treat it as enough. This shift moves you from “Is this the best?” to “Is this aligned with who I am?”

Add soft constraints: Limit the number of options you explore. Narrow down to three destinations or three morning routines. Constraints will create ease. When everything is possible, nothing stands out. When you narrow the field, you have room to choose.

Make your decisions feel more final: Choose a time frame. Three months, six months, a year. Then commit to staying the course. You aren’t locking yourself in forever, you’re giving yourself enough time to live (and experience) the choice instead of constantly revisiting it.

Practice deliberate appreciation: Once you make a choice? Actively notice what’s good about it. What are you learning? Who are you meeting? This is training your brain to see value in what you already have. Gratitude.

Tell a story about your choice: Instead of asking yourself, “Did I choose perfectly? ask Who am I becoming through this choice?” Each decision becomes part of your evolution, not a pass or fail test. You can still adjust course without turning on yourself.

We often imagine freedom as having no limits, yet real freedom feels more like depth than endless width.

It’s the ability to inhabit where you are.

To be right where your feet are.

Without being pulled into a thousand invisible what ifs.

Each time you choose?

I mean really choose.

You anchor yourself in the present moment.

You send a signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to be here.

That sense of safety creates space for presence, curiosity and authentic connection to appear.

Committing wholeheartedly to your choices won’t mean you never change direction.

Life will always invite course corrections and new seasons.

The shift is in how you travel.

Do you skim across the surface of everything while searching for the perfect one?

Or do you allow yourself to land fully?

To learn deeply and move forward with gratitude when it’s time.

Perfection will keep you hovering just above your life.

Commitment lets you actually live it.

Standing by your choices adds depth to your life.

Within every decision is a new world, but you’ll only discover that world when you stay long enough to explore it.

It’s like walking through a door and then closing it behind you.

Not out of fear, but out of devotion to explore what lies on the other side.

You give that room, that season, that moment, your full attention.

You decorate it with your presence.

When it’s time for a new room, you’ll know, and you’ll leave carrying real memories with you.

Not just mental comparisons.

So if you notice yourself caught in the pattern of chasing perfection?

Scrolling, comparing and wondering if there’s always something better.

Try this reminder:

You don’t have to find the perfect option.

You only need to choose a path that feels true for you right now.

Then live it fully.

The happiest people aren’t the ones holding the most open doors.

They’re the ones who walk through a door, close it behind them and then embrace the room they’re in.

Curious, grateful and ready to allow the brighter side of everything to unfold.

If you want to here more from Barry Schwartz on this topic? Check out this video:

Mark Twain is remembered as the man behind Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.

But he was also a curious, restless traveller.

A man who spent years wandering the world.

He sailed oceans.

Crossed continents and wrote about what he saw.

With equal parts mischief and insight.

If, like me, you care about learning, mindset and meaningful travel?

He’s very much one of us.

Just with a mousatche and a 19th‑century suit.

One quote of his has followed travellers around the globe for generations: “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow‑mindedness…”

It’s punchy, yes.

But it’s also a subtle dare.

To get out there and let the world soften your edges.

Twain was born Samuel Clemens in a tiny town in Missouri and grew up in Hannibal, a busy little port on the Mississippi River.

His childhood was a mix of steamboat whistles, caves, swimming holes and rough realities.

Like violence and slavery, which he later wove into his stories.

Money was often tight.

His father died when Sam was 11, and his formal schooling ended not long after.

He apprenticed at a print shop, learned the newspaper trade and eventually achieved the dream of many local boys.

Becoming a steamboat pilot on the Mississippi, reading the river’s shifting currents by feel and sight.

Those years gave him both his pen name “Mark Twain” which was a river depth call and a lifelong sense that the world was bigger than any one town.

Later, a failed mining adventure in the American West nudged him back toward journalism, travel writing and the books that made him famous.

Modern essays describe him as a complex, hopeful realist.

Someone who despite facing family losses, illness and serious financial troubles?

Still held on to a belief in human possibility and a deep interest in moral questions.

That mix of realism and hope is what makes him feel so contemporary.

Twain understood how easy it is to stay in one little corner of the world and assume your way is the way.

In his travel books, he pokes fun at tourists (including himself), at cultural quirks and at the stories people bring from home.

Underneath his humour sits a serious point.

Once you’ve actually shared tables, streets and conversations with people from different backgrounds?

It becomes harder to cling to rigid ideas about “us” and “them.”

You start to notice that:

He didn’t claim that travel magically fixes everything.

He simply saw, again and again, that genuine contact with people has a way of opening windows in the mind that were bolted shut.

Twain wasn’t a glossy, everything‑is‑amazing traveller that you often see today.

He grumbled about crowds, delays and strange customs.

Just like we all do.

The difference is that he kept looking.

A little longer.​

He stayed curious when it would be easy to shut down.

He asked questions instead of only judging.

He used humour to invite reflection, not just to mock.

That's a strong stance to adopt.

You can acknowledge that a place or situation is uncomfortable and stay open to what it might show you.

You can laugh at the awkward bits without deciding the whole experience is “bad.”

You can let surprise turn into learning instead of into defensiveness.

This approach maps beautifully onto any form of change.

A new job, a move, a relationship shift, a big trip.

You don’t have to love every moment.

You just have to stay curious long enough to keep moving forward.

A few very human takeaways you can adopt from Twain’s view of the world:

Step outside your usual corner: This might be another country, or it maybe just a different neighbourhood, a new café or an event you wouldn’t normally attend. Fresh surroundings nudge fresh thinking.

Let each journey change you a little: You can come home asking “What shifted within me on this trip? What do I now understand better?” Those shifts in how you see others and yourself are the magic of travel.

Use humour as a bridge: Light touches help you talk about differences without shutting anyone down. Including yourself. You can notice what is odd or challenging and smile, then ask yourself what it’s teaching you.

Travel inward as well as outward: The outer miles only matter if they move something inside. Even a simple walk in your own city can become a moment of inner travel if you’re open to it.

What I love about Mark Twain is that he gives language to something we already live.

The idea that stepping into a bigger world will grow a bigger heart.

His life started in a small river town.

Then carried him on steamboats, through newsrooms and to distant countries.

He kept turning those miles (along with his own hardships) into insight about how we live and how we treat each other.

He shows how easy it is to stay small and (seemingly) secure in our own corner of the world.

And how much more alive life feels when we let curiosity lead us a little further.

You don’t need a passport full of stamps or a ticket around the world to follow that spirit.

You just need the willingness to meet new places, people and ideas with open eyes.

And to let them change you, even a little, for the brighter.

If you’d like a quick visual of Twain’s life, this three‑minute mini bio gives a simple overview of his life’s journey:

Every now and then you press play on a new band and realise you’ve opened a musical can of worms.

In the best possible way.

I love that feeling of discovery.

That’s exactly what happened when I stumbled across Goose while hunting for something new to soundtrack my days.

One song became an afternoon and that afternoon turned into a week.

Before I knew it, my wife and I had tickets to see them in Toronto this summer.

Of everything I’ve explored so far, Everything Must Go is the record that keeps drawing me back.

If I had to put a label on Goose?

I’d call them an adventurous pop‑rock jam band with a serious ear for melody.

On Everything Must Go, they blend tight songwriting with rhythmic and textural shifts you usually hear in more improvisational, jam bands.

The songs manage to be both simple and expansive.

The grooves get you moving, but are wrapped in arrangements that give your mind space to wander.

It works just as well on a morning walk as it does when you sit down with headphones and let the whole album wash over you.

What set this album apart for me is the way it captures both the polish of the studio and the looseness of a band that clearly loves to stretch out on stage.

The performances feel organised without losing their sense of play.

Which is a tricky balance to pull off.

You can hear it in how the tracklist unfolds: songs like Give It Time, Your Direction and Red Bird lean into big, singable melodies.

While Thatch, Animal and Iguana Song sink into deeper grooves and more exploratory moments.

And then there’s Silver Rising, which has become my favourite.

A spacious, emotional slow‑burn that feels made for moments when you want to let your thoughts drift a little further than usual.

Spending time with Everything Must Go offers a few reminders beyond the music itself:

Structure and spontaneity can live side by side: You can feel the care in the arrangements, but they leave room for surprise. It’s a helpful reminder that you don’t have to choose between discipline and play.

Returning to something deepens the experience: With each listen, new details stand out. Guitar textures, vocal layers, subtle rhythmic choices. It’s a nudge to recognise that some things only really show themselves once you come back a few times.

Shared energy matters: Even through speakers, there’s a sense of a band fully engaged with what they’re doing. That collective focus and joy is something worth aiming for in any form of collaboration.

Everything Must Go hits a musical sweet spot for me.

It’s upbeat enough to lift the mood, layered enough to reward attention and spacious enough to let my mind wander.

When I need a little mental room.

Knowing I’ll hear these songs live this summer adds an awesome layer of anticipation.

I love the feeling of having something to look forward to.

If you’re looking for a band that feels melodic, adventurous and very much alive in what they’re creating?

Everything Must Go is a great way to tumble down the Goose rabbit hole.

I don’t know why but I love that last sentence 😆

This show from 2022 is a great introduction to the energy of their live performances:

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

There’s something special about those moments when you’re laughing so hard with someone that you can barely breathe.

One of you says something funny.

The other adds to it.

Suddenly you’re both gone.

Eyes watering, cheeks aching, completely lost in the moment.

These bursts of laughter are more than just fun.

They remind you what it feels like to be fully present.

To feel connected and completely yourself.

No performing, no overthinking.

Just pure joy bouncing back and forth between you and another person.

Big, unfiltered laughter usually shows up where you feel safe.

You’re not worrying about how you look or whether you are saying the right thing.

You’re relaxed enough to be a bit silly, to build on each other’s jokes and just let the moment carry you.

That sense of safety and ease is a sign of a healthy connection.

Shared laughter has even been linked to feeling closer and more supported in our relationships.

These moments give your mind and body a reset.

For a few minutes, stress loosens its grip.

Your body releases it’s feel‑good chemicals and everything feels a little less heavy.

Afterwards, things will often feel more manageable.

Shared laughter softens the edges of a hard day and reminds us that joy can live here too.

Here’s a few simple ways to invite more shared laughter into your week:

Spend time with people who get you: The ones you feel relaxed and real around, not the ones you feel you have to impress.

Be fully present when you’re with someone you enjoy: Put your phone down, make eye contact and give the moment your full attention so the silly, spontaneous riffs have room to appear.

Revisit a favourite funny memory: A show, a story or an inside joke with a friend or family member, then let yourselves build on it.

Give yourself permission to be playful: Say the light‑hearted comment, embrace the moment and let go of needing to be polished or serious all the time.

You can’t force those big laughing fits but you can create conditions where they show up a bit more often.

Those laugh until you can’t breathe moments are reminders of what makes life feel good.

Connection, play and lightness.

They won’t erase the hard things, but they give you energy to keep moving through them.

Along with the perspective that life is more than its challenges.

Try to notice who you laugh like that with.

Then be intentional about making space for more of it.

Protect those relationships.

Prioritise those moments, and let yourself go when it arrives.

Because when you find people you can barely breathe laughing with?

You’ve found something truly worth holding onto.

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