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Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.
This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.
Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.
Read time: 20 minutes.
The Invisible Army - Living with grief after the world has moved on.
Bright Reads - Quick links to fun or insightful articles.
Brandon Stanton - The courage to ask one more question.
Now Spinning - ‘open this wall’ by berlioz.
A Bright Idea to Consider - Actions speak louder than opinions.
A Previous Post - It’s better to ask twice.
Positively Hilarious - Smile like you mean it.
Daily Gratitude Journal - Transform your daily routine through reflection.
Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️
This week has a mix of quiet and spark.
We touch on the raw, everyday reality of carrying grief while the world speeds back up.
We also explore those small & unexpected openings that appear when you slow down enough to really listen to the people that surround you.
Along with an album that makes ordinary moments feel cinematic and a reminder that peoples opinions will come and go …
But their patterns of kindness are what stay with you.
See you on the Brighter Side,
Chris
P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.
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There’s a phase of grief that doesn’t get talked about much.
It’s the season when the flowers have long since wilted.
The check-in messages slow down and life for those around us returns to normal.
On the surface, you look like you’re functioning.
Inside, you’re still living with an absence that touches every single day.
This is the part that still catches me off guard.
For me, that absence now has two faces.
My Dad, who died suddenly six years ago, and my Mum, who passed away last year.
Both well before their time.
The world around me has largely moved on, as it naturally does.
Yet they both remain with me in a very real way.
I think of them every single day.
Actually, that’s a lie.
I think of them multiple times every day and I hope that never changes.
When the world moves on
The early period after a loss is intense and visible.
People rally around you, simple tasks keep you occupied and there’s an unspoken script outlining what you’re “supposed” to do.
Then time passes.
The phone rings less.
The world gets busy again.
Yes, everyone still cares, but their lives are full.
As they should be.
Yet our relationship with the person we lost hasn’t stopped.
It’s moved inside us.
We carry them with us quietly.
Through meetings, school runs, birthdays, dinners and the odd jarring “regular” Tuesday afternoon.
For me, the most challenging part has been this mismatch.
Society’s timeline vs. my heart’s timeline.
Grief research has found that there’s no standard schedule here.
No finite set of stages that everyone moves through in an orderly fashion.
Many continue to feel waves of sadness, longing and even anger years after a loss.
Especially when their passing was sudden or unexpected.
You can be laughing with friends one minute and, without warning, be back in that moment when everything changed.
“When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”
How grief changes over time
Over the years, it's not that I think about them less but that I think of them differently.
The sharp edges are still there, especially around anniversaries and milestones.
But there’s more warmth now.
More gratitude.
More fun and uplifting memories.
More attention to the ways they shaped who I am.
This is also something grief science supports.
Many who are grieving form what psychologists call “continuing bonds.”
An ongoing inner relationship with the person they’ve lost that bring comfort and meaning over time.
Remembering them.
Talking to them in your thoughts.
Doing small things in their honour.
These aren’t signs of being “stuck.”
They’re signs of love.
Grief shows up in your brain as much as in your heart.
It takes time for your mind to catch up to a world without a loved one, which is why the waves, the fog and the sudden hits of pain can feel so strong.
That’s your brain slowly rewiring around a love that still remains.
It’s not weakness.
It’s evidence of how deeply they mattered.
If you’re quietly grieving
If you’re reading this and quietly carrying your own loss, this part is for you.
Your grief might look completely different to mine.
Maybe you’re years out, like me, trying to balance family, work and a sadness that never fully leaves you.
Maybe your loss is fresh and raw, and you are still in that dazed, unreal stretch of days where time feels both slow and blurry.
Further research has shown that people grieve differently depending on their personality, culture, the circumstances of the loss and the support they recieve.
There’s no gold standard.
There’s just your way.
At the same time, grief also connects people.
Even if the other person can’t fully understand your specific story.
They can meet you in the shared human place of “I know what it is to have my life split into a before and an after.”
Studies consistently find that feeling understood and supported makes a real difference to how we adapt after loss.
Being able to say, “This still hurts,” even years later, and hearing back, “That makes sense,” can soften the loneliness through this lengthy phase.
So, if no one has said it to you in a while.
You’re not overreacting.
You’re not behind.
You’re not failing at grief.
You’re living through something that’s as old as humanity itself.
And doing it in a culture that often rushes past pain because it feels uncomfortable.
Grief is a natural response to love.
And it deserves time, attention and care.
“Grief is the price we pay for love.”
Lessons from my experience with grief
Your grief is yours alone, and no list can tell you how to do it.
Never forget that.
Still, there are a few things that have helped me steady myself on the harder days, so I’m sharing them in case they offer you a bit of comfort too:
Let your timeline be your own: Grief lingers longer than most think, especially after a sudden loss. Many of us still feel strong emotions and occasional intense waves years later.
Remind yourself: “There’s no deadline here.” Your progress isn’t measured by how rarely you think of them, but by how you learn to live with both love and loss in the same heart.
Make space for “grief pockets”: Grief can show up suddenly and no matter where you are. These “grief pockets” are uncomfortable but normal. It’s your brain and body processing something huge in small bursts over time.
When one hits, acknowkedge it. Naming the wave often makes it less overwhelming.
Practice self-compassion: Research links self-compassion (speaking to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend) to lower levels of complicated grief, depression and trauma symptoms. It doesn’t erase the loss, but it reduces the extra layer of suffering that comes from any self-criticism.
When you catch yourself thinking, “I should be over this by now,” replace it with, “Of course this still hurts. I loved them.”
Stay connected in ways that feel safe: Those who feel supported tend to adapt better over time after a loss. The support does not have to be dramatic. Regular chats, everyday conversations and spending time with people who let you be exactly who you are.
If your immediate circle struggles to talk about your loss, consider other channels: support groups, online communities or therapy. You’re never alone in this.
Honour your continuing bond: Maintaining a connection with the person you’ve lost is healthy when it feels supportive rather than crushing.
This might be visiting places you shared, keeping certain rituals, talking to them in your thoughts, or living out the values they passed on.
Avoid turning grief into self-blame: It’s common to replay the “what ifs” and “if onlys.” While some reflection is human, research shows that getting stuck in repetitive self-blaming will add to your distress.
When your mind goes there, ask this: “If someone I love were telling me this story, would I blame them?” Often the answer is no.
Allow yourself joy without guilt: You can laugh, reflect on memories and feel genuinely happy while still missing them. Our nervous system gradually learns to hold multiple emotions at once, sadness and gratitude, missing and laughter.
You’re not replacing them when you smile or build new memories. You’re living the life they were a part of building and bringing them along for the ride.
My Takeaway
If you’re in that stretch of grief where others have moved forward and you’re still living with your loss, consider this a hand on your shoulder.
The fact that you still think of them every day is not something to be fixed.
It’s something to be respected.
It speaks to the depth of your love and the size of the space they filled in your life.
How lucky are we to have loved someone so much, that it hurts this much?
Over time, the pain does shift.
It will never vanish.
In many ways that’s a reflection of how much they mattered.
Yet alongside the waves of missing them, new layers emerge.
The stories you tell.
The traits you recognise in yourself because of them.
The way you show up for others in a crisis, because you know how it feels.
These are the quiet legacies of love.
Your grief is unique.
Your path is your own, and still, there’s a wide circle of people who understand the depth and complexity of your heartache.
You are seen.
You are not alone.
There’s an invisible army of us carrying the people we love forward through each and every day.
And you are one of us.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it.”
If you’d like to sit with this idea a little longer, Nora McInerny’s talk offers a gentle, honest and often amusing reflection on living with loss while the world carries on:
Why we are better off than a century ago.
Incredibly creative miniatures by Tatsuya Tanaka.
We now have a greater understanding of how exercise slows cancer.
Why singing is surprisingly good for your health.
The world's best looking train stations.
Brandon Stanton - born in Marietta, Georgia, 1984.
Most people move through a city trying not to make eye contact.
Head down.
Headphones on.
Keep it moving.
Brandon Stanton built his life’s work by doing the exact opposite.
He stopped.
He looked up.
He asked strangers questions most of us will never be asked.
And then …
Wait for it …
He listened.
That simple habit (one person with a camera and a lot of curiosity) became Humans of New York.
A project that now reaches tens of millions of people and has helped raise over $20 million for people and causes around the world.
Amazing.
“The picture is an excuse to listen, and the listening is what provides validation.”
From Collapse to Curiosity
Brandon’s story didn’t start on the sidewalk of the Big Apple though.
It started in a place many will recognise.
Feeling like everything has fallen apart.
He flunked out of college, struggled with addiction and ended up working low‑wage jobs while his friends moved on around him.
Eventually, he landed a finance job in Chicago and thought he’d finally found stability.
Until the 2008 financial crisis cost him that job too.
While some would have scrambled to get themselves “back on track.”
Brandon chose to buy a cheap camera.
At first he took photos purely to steady his mind after stressful days.
Then an odd idea popped into his head.
Move to New York City and photograph 10,000 people, plotting their portraits on a map of the city as he went.
No business plan.
No five‑year strategy.
Just two suitcases, unemployment cheques that “almost paid his rent” and a quiet conviction within himself.
That if he devoted himself to this one thing, something meaningful will grow from it.
From the outside, it looked reckless.
From the inside, it was a bet on his own curiosity.
How Humans of New York Happened
In 2010, Brandon started walking the streets of New York every day.
Taking portraits of whoever agreed to be photographed.
At first, he posted the pictures with just a name or a corner of the city.
Then, almost by accident, he added a short quote from a woman he’d photographed.
People connected to the words even more than the image.
So he leaned into that.
He started asking better questions.
Not the boring shit like “What do you do?”
Questions like:
“What’s your biggest struggle right now?”
“What’s your happiest memory?”
“What would you tell your younger self?”
These simple (but often overlooked) questions opened the floodgates.
People talked about addiction, grief, illness, migration, money worries, faith, love, regret and second chances.
Over time, Humans of New York shifted from a photo blog into something else entirely.
A daily ritual of pausing to encounter the inner life of another human being.
In the years that followed Brandon photographed and interviewed more than 10,000 people in over 40 countries.
He has published several number‑one New York Times bestsellers and watched his “weird idea” grow into what one major paper called “one of the most influential art projects of the decade.”
When Empathy Turns into Action
Another striking part of Brandon’s story is what happened when empathy didn’t stop at ‘likes and views’.
As Humans of New York grew, some stories moved people so deeply that “someone should help” turned into “I’m going to help.”
Brandon began attaching fundraisers to certain posts.
A Brooklyn principal trying to support kids in a tough neighbourhood, a woman named Stephanie “Tanqueray” Johnson facing health issues late in life, refugees and families dealing with medical crises.
Each time, the community responded with surprising speed and generosity:
The “Tanqueray” series raised around $2.7 million for her care in a matter of weeks.
Campaigns for schools, paediatric cancer and small businesses hit by COVID helped push the total raised past $20 million.
Brandon never set out to become a fundraiser.
He simply wanted to earn enough to keep doing the work.
Over time, by listening carefully and treating people’s stories with care, he built a deep reservoir of trust with his audience.
That trust came from small, consistent actions and a sense that he was being open and fair.
So when he finally pointed to a specific need?
People believed him, and moved quickly to help.
“If you can find somebody’s struggle, you can find their genius, because you find the thing they’ve pushed up against and thought about more than anything else.”
Practical Lessons from Brandon
Let a setback open a different door: Losing his job felt like failure. It became the opening for Humans of New York. Sometimes what collapses clears space for work that fits you better. Trust me on this one 😉
Practice small, consistent courage: Approaching strangers every day is awkward and full of rejection. His success rests on thousands of tiny, brave moments, not one dramatic leap.
Treat listening as real work: Brandon has said the photo is just an excuse to listen. The real magic sits in following the thread of someone’s story and giving their words careful attention.
Believe that “ordinary” is enough: He doesn’t chase famous names. He stays with everyday people and trusts that their lives are rich enough to hold our attention.
My Takeaway
What stands out most about Brandon Stanton?
That he treats strangers’ lives as worthy of time, care and respect.
Every single day.
He built a global platform by doing something almost embarrassingly simple.
Slowing down and asking, “Can you tell me about yourself?”
As our world continues to reward speed, hot takes and polished personas, his work offers a quieter invitation.
To look up.
Ask better questions.
And most importantly, stay long enough to really hear the answer.
Maybe that’s our invitation this week?
To shift, even a little, from broadcasting to listening.
To notice the resilience sitting across from you on the train, at the café, at your own dinner table.
To trust that the stories around you are big enough to matter.
Because if one person with a camera and stubborn curiosity can help millions of people feel a bit less alone, it’s worth asking what might change when all of us choose to stop and listen.
“Truth is often spoken haltingly, with pauses - like it’s being dug up one spoonful at a time from somewhere deep.”
For a deeper dive into his journey in his own words, this video is a great place to start:
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open this wall - berlioz
Some records quickly slide into your day like they’ve always been there.
open this wall is one of them.
It draws on that long-running wave of jazz-influenced house that took hold in the late ’90s and early 2000s.
It’s one of those albums that feels instantly familiar but also bright and new.
The grooves are addictive.
The kind you can throw on in almost any situation.
It keeps everything moving without ever demanding the spotlight.
Why It’s Worth Your Time
These sounds sit right in the golden zone between jazz, house and relaxed electronic.
It’s warm and rhythmic without ever getting in your way.
The drum and bass build momentum, while the horns and keys (with some perfectly-placed saxophone) bring a soulful undercurrent.
Honestly, who doesn’t love a little saxophone when the mood is right?
There’s no showy singles or filler here.
The whole album flows like one continuous journey.
What Makes It Stand Out
Jazz can sometimes feel intimidating or too niche.
The way berlioz blends live instrumentation, organic house rhythms and subtle melodies makes it feel much more accessible.
It’s seamless, uplifting and full of subtle layers that reveal themselves over time.
If you listen closely, there are plenty of small surprises and details.
Let it wash over you with each listen.
Personally, I think the entire album slaps.
The first shift in the opening track really sets the tone.
Before you know it, you’ve been tapping your feet for 20 minutes.
Proof this record works as both a vibe-setter and a deep listen.
You’ll hear moments of spoken word, tributes to jazz legends, playful piano runs and unexpected percussion.
All woven into a sound that keeps things relaxed but never boring.
The albums art even mirrors this vibe, echoing a Matisse painting with its bright, abstract energy.
Practical Lessons
The right “background” album elevates your whole day: Like a low-key friend, this record creates atmosphere.
Jazz-house is an entry point for everyone: Jazz can be a tough listen at times. Berlioz bridges genres for those who might overlook jazz altogether, in a way that feels modern and easy.
Set the mood, not the volume: The steady grooves and harmonies create a real atmosphere of relaxation and enjoyment without taking over. It’s upbeat, but never overpowering.
My Takeaway
This album has quickly become my go-to in almost any context.
Firstly, the grooves are infectious.
But it also brings a rare combination.
Enough lift to energise a space, and also enough space for conversation.
It’s confident and contemporary.
It’s music that feels good.
One of those albums that makes the everyday feel a little more cinematic.
If you close your eyes, you can imagine yourself sitting by the water.
Cocktail in hand, soaking in every beat as you witness a golden sunset you’re in no rush to leave behind.
“Open this wall feels like the culmination of berlioz’s sound so far. A genre-blurring, jazz-house album that’s both cathartic and deeply human and a must-listen whether you’re a long-time jazz fan or just curious about the hype.”
Got a recommendation?
Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.
The Lesson
In 2025, it can often feel like people are reduced to their opinions.
A comment.
A post.
A throwaway line in conversation can suddenly become someone’s entire identity in our minds.
But when you pause and think about it, one hot take or clumsy sentence doesn’t come close to capturing who a person really is.
That’s the thing about opinions, anyone and everyone can have one.
Opinions are fleeting.
The way a person treats others tells a much deeper story.
Go Deeper
Every single person you meet will have views you don’t share.
Some of those views you might even strongly dislike.
That’s part of being human.
The trouble starts when a single opinion becomes the whole story you tell yourself about a person.
One awkward viewpoint.
One poorly phrased comment.
One moment you strongly disagree with can become the lens you look at them through.
People grow, learn and change their minds all the time.
The person who had an opinion you didn't agree with can become more open-minded, humble and ready to change their mind.
When you look at their actions over weeks, months, or years, a different picture often appears.
Maybe they show up when someone is struggling, treat people with respect, apologise when they get it wrong, or quietly help behind the scenes.
It’s also worth remembering this cuts both ways.
You’d likely hate to be frozen in other people’s minds as “the worst thing you ever said” or “that one opinion you had years ago.”
You yourself are more than your worst moments too.
Practical Lessons
Moments aren’t the whole story: One opinion is a snapshot, not a full biography.
Beliefs can shift: People often change as they’re exposed to new experiences and perspectives.
Patterns reveal character: Look at how someone consistently treats others, especially when there’s nothing in it for them.
Curiosity opens space: Asking “What led you to see it that way?” often reveals underlying nuance and capacity to grow.
Grace goes both ways: The same generosity you extend to others (allowing them to be more than their worst idea) is worth extending to yourself.
My Takeaway
Paying more attention to ongoing patterns rather than individual opinions makes relationships feel lighter and more grounded.
It takes the pressure off needing to agree with everything someone says in order to respect them.
It also softens the judgment that can creep in after a conversation goes sideways.
This week, try a small experiment:
Notice one person whose opinion you’ve mentally “filed away” as their whole identity.
Then, watch how they treat others. Their kindness (or lack of it), their reliability, their willingness to listen.
Ask yourself: if I focused more on these actions and less on that one opinion, would my view of them change?
No one is as bad as their worst idea.
Just as no one is as perfect as their best moment.
Letting people be larger than their opinions (including yourself) creates space for deeper connections.
“Judge a tree by its fruit, not by its leaves.”
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