Two Things Can Be True

Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 20-30 minutes.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

I’m glad you’re here.

I love exploring ideas with you at a slower, more honest pace.

Taking the time to dig deeper into topics that matter, allowing for a more balanced understanding and meaningful conversation than any 15‑second clip or one minute snap shot can offer.

This week we dive into how our minds love to flip everything toward all or nothing.

Success or failure, right or wrong, and what becomes possible when we let a few shades of grey enter the frame.

We’ll look at how certainty can box you in, how curiosity loosens the edges and how small exits away from autopilot can change the shape of a day.

Thanks for joining me as we aim to better understand ourselves (and each other) every week.

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

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Our minds like clear answers.

In or out.

Yes or no.

Right or wrong.

Success or failure.

It can feel satisfying in the moment, because certainty feels safe.

But this habit of thinking in extremes can distort how we see things.

How we see ourselves, other people, even how we see possibilities that lie in front of us.

Psychologists refer to this as a cognitive distortion known as all-or-nothing thinking.

You might also hear it called black-and-white or dichotomous thinking.

This mindset is where experiences are judged in absolute terms with no middle ground.

When you frame things this way?

A project that wasn’t perfect becomes a disaster.

A single disappointment from someone becomes proof they’re not dependable.

A day that didn’t go to plan feels like the entire week is ruined.

The mind skips past any nuance and lands directly on a final verdict.

Over time, this pattern has been linked with higher levels of anxiety, stress, and low mood.

Becuase it removes any signs of improvement, hard work, and of course, context.

Life though?

It rarely fits into such narrow categories.

Most of the good stuff happens in the in-between.

There’s one question that has followed me around the world.

When I lived in Melbourne during university, people would ask what I thought of Sydney.

When I later moved to Sydney to build my career in travel, the question flipped the other way.

Which is better, Melbourne or Sydney?

Years later in Canada, it started to show up again.

After eight years in Vancouver and now almost a decade in Toronto, the question I’m now regularly asked?

Which do you prefer, Vancouver or Toronto?

On the surface, it sounds simple and harmless.

Underneath, it reveals something important about how we’re wired to compare.

I’ve been there myself at times.

That innate need to rank and decide that one thing must come out on top.

Apple vs. Android.

Cats vs. dogs.

Michael Jordan vs. Lebron James.

City life vs. country life.

This form of comparison is everywhere around us.

The reality though, is that each of these four cities are incredible in their own right.

Each has offered something completely different and deeply valuable at the same time.

Melbourne is a city with an incredible arts, culture and sports scene that guided me through some of my most formative years.

There were late nights, great friends, big conversations, plenty of lessons learned and the feeling that the world was starting to open up.

Oh, and great coffee, like absurdly good coffee.

Sydney is pure sparkle.

With its stunninf setting, beaches and vibrant energy, it’s where I met my wife and my travel career began.

It felt fast, ambitious, sun-drenched and provided countless memories.

Vancouver always felt like you were living inside a postcard, with the beauty of the mountains and ocean right at your doorstep.

It has a quiet, relaxed confidence and a beauty that invites you to slow down, breathe and pay attention to what really matters.

Toronto is a kaleidoscope of the whole world, with its diversity, fascinating neighbourhoods and constant sense of possibility.

This is where we’ve raised our kids, and also the longest I’ve ever lived in a single house in my life.

Which says something about the kind of roots this city encourages you to grow.

Each of these places ha shaped a different part of me.

The idea that one has to be “better” misses the point entirely.

When you step outside the frame of comparison and look at your experience as a whole.

You start to see the full picture.

You see how each chapter contributes something essential.

That internal shift, when you step outside the frame, is an observational skill.

It’s the ability to zoom out, hold more than one truth and recognise that different things can be meaningful in different ways.

Many people fail to realise that this is a skill you can refine.

You absolutely can.

In psychology, there’s a concept called dialectical thinking.

It refers to the ability to hold two seemingly opposite ideas at the same time without cancelling either of them.

Dialectical approaches, like Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, build a whole set of tools around this concept.

Reason being that having space for more than one truth?

Tends to reduce emotional intensity and help people feel less stuck.

In everyday life, you can recognise that you’re proud of the effort you’ve made and also be aware that there’s still room for growth.

You can value a relationship and feel hurt by a recent interaction.

Even when a plan didn’t go as you’d hoped you can still highlight the parts that did.

Nothing is erased.

Both realities are allowed to exist.

That small internal shift changes how you interpret events.

Instead of always searching for a final verdict (good or bad, right or wrong) you begin to see layers.

You see progress inside imperfection.

You see intention inside a misstep.

When you live this way, emotional reactions start to settle.

People no longer swing in your mind from amazing to awful.

They become human again.

Humans are consistently imperfect,.

Often trying their best.

Sometimes missing the mark.

Just like you.

That perspective is grounded, never let anyone try to tell you it’s soft.

There’s another layer to this that’s worth discussing.

Sometimes, all-or-nothing thinking reflects more than just habit.

It can also be tied to what researchers describe as willful ignorance.

Willful ignorance is deliberately avoiding information or perspectives that might challenge a comfortable belief you hold, or force a harder decision.

Naivety stems from inexperience.

You experience something for the first time, update your undersatnding and change your belief.

Willful ignorance is different.

It’s an active choice to look away.

Many people will actively avoid learning how their choices affect others because staying in the dark allows them to feel more comfortable with their actions.

When you notice someone clinging tightly to a single narrative and refusing to consider additional information?

That’s generally a useful signal.

It might be a moment to step back and look at both the opinion and the person differently.

It doesn’t mean writing them off.

It may mean adjusting your expectations and the depth of conversations you have.

Or the level of influence you allow their perspective to hold in your own mind.

If this avoidance continues for long enough, apathy can begin to creep in.

When everything feels like a fight between extremes?

It becomes easier to shut down entirely.

Why bother becomes the message in the background of the mind.

The problem is, that apathy can also disconnect you from joy & curiosity.

Not only from discomfort.

When you choose to be aware, and accept that there can be more than one truth, you’re challenging yourself.

This requires courage and self-honesty.

And it’s where real change starts.

The good news is that our brain can learn a new way of responding.

Cognitive behavioural approaches often start by helping people recognise (and gently challenge) rigid patterns.

Like all or nothing thinking.

A simple way to approach this:

First, notice the moment your mind jumps to a total conclusion.

It could be the words you use like always, never, ruined or pointless showing up in your own thinking.

Then, pause long enough to ask yourself what else could be true.

You aren’t trying to cancel your initial thought, just adding to it.

Next, look for specific details.

Was there anything that did go well?

Was there any sign of lessons learned or your intentions that your first reaction skipped over?

Finally, and most importantly, stay curious.

Curiosity keeps the door open.

Certainty slams it shut.

Over time, this practice trains your mind to scan for nuance in the same way it once scanned for absolutes.

As a result, your decisions are based on a fuller picture.

Not a snap judgment.

Here’s a few simple ideas to take with you this week:

Living in Melbourne, Sydney, Vancouver and Toronto has taught me something simple and important.

Life doesn’t ask us to name a winner.

Each of them revealed something different about who I am, what I value and how I want to move through the world.

The same is true beyond geography.

Your experiences, relationships, successes and setbacks all take on a different meaning when you allow them to stand together.

Instead of competing for first place.

When you step away from all or nothing thinking?

You begin to see your life as a complete picture instead of a series of verdicts.

That shift makes room for all the good stuff to arrive.

Stuff like possibility, self-respect, curiosity, clearer choices and internal progress allowing you to feel more like you.

If there’s one idea to carry with you this week, let it be this:

All or nothing thinking will always try to shrink your life to a single verdict.

The moment you allow more than one truth to stand together?

Your world widens.

And you finally notice the brighter side that was never missing.

Just out of frame.

Want to learn more on this?

Here’s a down to earth look at how all or nothing thinking sneaks into everyday life, fuels that never good enough feeling, and what you can do to loosen its hold:

Picture the start line of the Olympic 100 metre final.

It’s always an iconic moment.

The cameras zoom in and the stadium holds its breath.

Eight of the fastest humans on the planet stand in their lanes.

Shoulders tight.

Faces locked in focus.

In lane five though, one man is dancing and smiling.

Usain Bolt stands loose as a goose, bobbing his head to reggae as he awaits his moment.

He grins at the crowd, bumps fists with the kid in front of him and reaches out to greet the volunteers on the track.

A few moments later, he settles into the blocks and does what everyone expects.

He explodes out of the start and runs faster than anyone in history.

To this day, he is still the current world record holder for the 100 metres.

Setting a blistering mark of 9.58 seconds across 100m at Berlin in 2009.

He’s also a person who recognises the power of the moment and makes time for kids and volunteer staff before the gun goes off.

And those kids will remember that moment long after the medal ceremony is over.

Over time, fans started to notice a pattern.

Before every race, Bolt chose to look around and find connection rather than shut out the world.

He smiled and shook hands with the officials and volunteers who keep the events running.

He played with the children on the track, the kit‑carriers and mascots who walked out with the athletes, sometimes tapping them gently on the head or sharing a quick joke.

The stakes were always huge.

His schedule was always tight.

Yet, he still made room for the most human of moments.

After one race in Beijing, a cameraman on a Segway accidentally crashed into him from behind and knocked both of them to the ground.

Bolt could have lost his cool.

He could have shouted or stormed off.

Instead, he got up, checked that the cameraman was okay and laughed it off.

Later, the two of them met again and the cameraman handed him a small bracelet in apology.

Bolt accepted it with his trademark grin.

World records create headlines.

Moments like these shape how people feel about you.

When you watch his pre‑race routine, you see more than showmanship.

You see a way of staying steady.

Music in his ears gives his mind something familiar to hold on to.

Dancing and moving keep his body loose instead of stiff with tension.

Joking with other runners and with the crowd keeps the moment human instead of overwhelming.

Sports psychologists often say that play and lightness lower stress and help people stay in a state where they can perform well under pressure.

Bolt’s ritual fits that idea.

He knows the size of the moment, but he chooses to meet it with looseness instead of tightness.

Calm, in his case, is miles from emptiness.

It’s a state where his body is ready and his mind is clear enough to focus on his start, his stride and his finish.

Away from the track, Bolt’s choices keep pointing in the same direction.

Through the Usain Bolt Foundation, he supports children’s health and education, especially in Jamaica.

The foundation has funded heart surgery for children, donated to rural schools and supported young athletes with equipment and resources.

He has spoken about wanting to help develop kids in Jamaica and uses his name to draw attention and funding toward that goal.

His speed gave him a platform.

He made the active choice to use that platform to help children feel safe, healthy and more hopeful.

While it’s his electric performances that sit at the centre of his story.

It’s his care for others that sits right alongside them.

Most of us will never run an Olympic final, but we’ll all face our own moments of pressure in life.

The big meeting, the job interview, the hard conversation.

Those moments when the eyes are on us.

Bolt’s approach to these moments carries some useful reminders:

Lightness can be a tool: His dancing and smiling help his body stay loose and ready. In your own high‑pressure moments, a short walk, a song you love, a simple joke with someone you trust can play the same role.

You can stay human when the stakes feel high: He makes time for volunteers, kids and staff in the middle of enormous events. It costs him a few seconds of attention but gives everyone else around him a story they’ll never forget. When life feels big and busy, you can still pause and really see the person in front of you.

You can choose your response when things go wrong: A moving camera knocked him over at full speed. His choice was to check that the other person was okay and move on with humour. The next time something collides with your plans, you have a similar choice: stay stuck in blame or treat it as a stumble you can recover from.

Serious effort doesn’t require a hard shell: Bolt trains hard, studies his races and carries the responsibility of expectation. What makes him shine is he refuses to wear that effort as a permanent frown. You can care deeply about your work, your people and still bring play and fun to the moment.

Calm is what happens when you remember you’re more than the moment you’re in.

It allows you to carry intensity with humour and kindness.

Usain Bolt runs faster than anyone else in history and still finds space to joke with a kid, greet a volunteer and pick himself up smiling when something knocks him over.

He’s clearly kept the kid inside him alive.

His playful energy has taken him to places most adults only ever dream about.

So, never lose the kid in you.

The one who laughs, who plays, who is curious for no good reason.

It’s far from a distraction from your adult life.

It might be the very thing that helps you better handle pressure, stay kind in tough moments and keep moving yourself toward what matters.

So guard that kid within you carefully.

They may know more about handling life than your “serious” side ever will.

If you’d like to see this side of him in action, watch the moment he makes a young volunteer’s day:

This week I’d like to recommend The Nature of Things from CBC in Canada.

It’s been around for decades (60+ years in fact), but I’ve only really tuned into how good it is over the few years, as I didn’t grow up in Canada.

What I appreciate most is how thoughtfully it’s put together.

Each episode is crafted with scientists, researchers, along with other experts, and the storytelling stays easy to follow while grounded in real evidence.

It handles complex topics with care and clarity, which, if you look around today, feels rare and genuinely valuable.

For more than four decades, environmentalist David Suzuki served as the face of the show, helping turn it into one of TV’s longest‑running science series.

Today, a new generation of hosts are carrying that legacy forward and continuing to explore a wide range of topics.

Everything from nature, climate, health, technology, through to how we live day to day.

Instead of leaning into fear as has become far too common, it leans into curiosity.

You finish an episode feeling more informed and more connected to the world around you.

It also feels trustworthy.

You can settle in knowing the team has done their homework and is sharing the best understanding we have right now.

Without hype.

Which is my exact aim when writing this newsletter.

Everywhere you look you can find hot takes and quick opinions.

So, a steady, thoughtful and informative pace is a welcome reset.

Here are a few simple ways you can add it to your week:

One of the perks of living in 2026 is how easy it is to watch.

There’s a deep library of episodes on CBC Gem, YouTube and other platforms whenever the mood strikes.

For me, The Nature of Things has become a go‑to when I want to learn without feeling overloaded.

Many episodes have been great to watch with my kids sparking interesting conversation and growing their curiosity.

It’s a great reminder that science and good storytelling can sit side by side and help the world feel a little more understandable (and a little more hopeful).

If you’re keen for something to watch that respects your intelligence and feeds your curiosity while still feeling human?

The Nature of Things is well worth a look.

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

We often imagine change arriving in the big moments.

Like a new job or a big move.

Most of the time though, it slips in through these tiny little choices.

How we handle a comment.

How we treat our tired body.

How we spend a random two minutes.

These are the moments where your life can shift.

Firstly, autopilot is not the enemy.

It helps us get through familiar tasks without burning energy.

The issue is when autopilot runs the moments that actually deserve your presence.

The hard conversations, an evening with someone you love, the time between finishing your tasks and collapsing into bed.

On autopilot, you repeat what you have always done.

You defend.

You push.

You zone out.

It feels automatic, almost inevitable.

In reality, there’s a small gap between what happens and what you do next.

That gap is your exit ramp.

Exits can look small.

Feeling your shoulders tense and take one breath before answering a call.

You open the next email but decide to step outside instead.

You grab your phone while in line and, just for today, leave it in your pocket and look around.

From the outside, nothing dramatic.

On the inside though?

You just reminded yourself that how you show up rests entirely in your hands.

Here’s a few simple ways to start spotting and using those tiny exits:

Name one default reaction: Think of a situation that reliably trips you up. It might be criticism, feeling ignored, running late etc. Then, notice what you usually do without thinking. That’s your autopilot script. Once you see it, you’re more likely to catch it in real time.

Add a five‑second pause: Before you reply, post, or say yes, stop and count to five. In that moment, ask what would actually help here? Often you’ll find a softer tone, a shorter answer, or even an honest I need a minute.

Swap one micro‑habit: Pick a low‑stakes moment like waiting for the kettle and instead of scrolling, try looking around, stretching, breathing or just letting your mind wander without a screen. You’re teaching your brain to notice alternatives.

Create a default exit: Decide on one go‑to move when you feel yourself spiralling: a glass of water, a quick walk, three deep breaths or stepping into another room. The goal is to interrupt the loop.

You don’t need to rebuild your whole life to move away from autopilot.

You just need to catch one or two moments a day and choose differently.

On purpose.

It helps to remember that we don’t need a massive plan to change how our life feels.

Just one small exit, taken often.

When we listen instead of defend, we learn more about people.

When we rest instead of grind, we show up better for what matters.

When we stroll instead of scroll, we remember there’s a world beyond your screen.

These moments don’t look heroic, but they re‑write who you’re becoming.

In the coming days, try to notice one moment where you’d usually run on autopilot, and ask yourself:

What exit is available to me right now?

Then take it.

Over time, those little choices stop being the exception and start becoming the way forward.

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