Updating Your Normal

Welcome to The Brighter Side of Everything.

This newsletter serves a simple purpose → To help you build optimism, resilience and a solution-focused perspective.

Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 20-30 minutes.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

Thanks for letting me be part of your week, I never take that lightly.

Before we dive in, a quick reminder that I’m no guru or life expert.

Just someone sharing what I’ve learned (and continue to learn) in the hope that it resonates with some of you.

This week we’re unpacking “normal”.

Where yours came from, what you may have been tolerating and how you can stretch it into something that feels more alive.

Along the way we meet a 100‑year‑old marathoner, explore some brilliant new music and try a few small experiments that shake up the familiar (in the best possible way).

If you’re curious about who you are beyond your usual patterns?

This week is for you.

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

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Normal.

It’s one of those words we toss around so easily that we rarely stop to ask what it actually means.

We use it to describe everything from our routines to our relationships.

Our successes to our struggles.

When you really think about it though?

Normal is just another word for familiar.

It doesn’t automatically mean healthy.

Or true.

Or even right.

It just means … known.

Your version of normal is what your nervous system has been trained to recognise.

It’s built from the voices, habits and patterns you’ve been surrounded by all your life.

The way people spoke in your home.

How money was handled.

How emotions were expressed or avoided.

What was celebrated.

And, what was brushed aside.

Over time, those patterns became your baseline.

Your sense of what “life is.”

There’s another layer to this though.

Your normal is also shaped by what you’ve tolerated over time.

The comments you brushed off and the exhaustion you pushed through.

The treatment you explained away.

Because what you allow again and again, starts to feel expected.

But there’s a truth within all of this that shifts everything.

YOUR normal is not THE normal.

There’s no universal version of normal that applies to everyone.

There’s only your version.

Shaped by your experiences, your history and the culture that raised you.

What feels obvious to you can feel surprising to someone else.

What feels acceptable to you can feel limiting to another person.

What feels like “just the way things are” in your world can feel unfair or uncomfortable in someone else’s.

Once you see that?

Something important begins to move.

You realise that your normal is a story.

It’s learned.

Absorbed.

Practiced.

And … stories can be updated.

Your definition of normal was built, piece by piece, through aspects like where you grew up and the culture that surrounded you.

How you were raised and what was modelled, not just what was said.

What you were praised or punished for.

The stories your family and community told about success, failure, love, rest, money, risk and possibility.

The food you ate.

The music you listened to.

The religion you were born into.

Maybe you grew up in a home where hard work was everything and rest was a sign of laziness.

Over time, your normal became equating worth with productivity.

Maybe you were raised in an environment where nobody talked about feelings, so now sharing how you really feel makes your whole body tense.

Maybe you heard, directly or indirectly, that dreaming too big was unrealistic or selfish.

So your normal became keeping your hopes quiet and small.

None of this means you’re broken or wrong.

All it means is that your nervous system adapted to what it knew.

It built a map.

The question is?

Does that map still fit the person you are now?

AND the person you’re becoming?

If you never question your normal?

It silently (and productively) runs your entire life.

You react, decide and judge from an autopilot setting established years ago.

Over time, if you allow it, that autopilot will harden into your identity.

You become the dependable one.

The loud one.

The one who doesn’t make a fuss.

Research on self-concept and social roles indicate that we absorb certain roles into our sense of who we are.

Even when those roles no longer fit.

They may have worked in your favour (or not), but they also box you in.

They imply, this is who you are.

Even when a deeper part of you is ready for something more.

We all operate from a script that’s been shaped by our experiences, along with our beliefs and the societal norms we’ve internalised.

The problems arise, when you never stop to ask who wrote it.

And, whether you still want to follow it.

Updating your normal is how you keep actually living instead of just replaying your past.

It’s how you move from being carried by old habits to consciously choosing your path.

It's worth remembering that what the world refers to as normal often means common, not wise.

Being "abnormal" isn't a bad thing.

Far from it.

It’s often where original ideas and the unique talents of the world live.

This is where curiosity becomes powerful.

It allows you to look at your normal without shame or blame.

There’s no need to tear it up or defend it, because there’s likely plenty of truth within it.

You simply need to ask questions.

You begin to notice what you believe about love, about work, about money.

Then ask where those beliefs came from and test whether they still feel true.

This allows you to stay open to other people’s experiences and perspectives.

Instead of needing your way to be the only way.

You listen openly to new stories.

You let new information and facts challenge what you’ve been taught, even when it’s uncomfortable.

You start spotting the moments when a belief you grew up with makes you smaller.

When it gives you a harsh edge, or highlghts your fears.

Then, you can pause and ask, does this remain true for me now?

That pause is everything.

Because it means you’re no longer on autopilot.

You’re awake.

Your internal handbook for how life works was written by experience and repetition.

But it’s never finished.

Education can add new chapters.

Travel can introduce new characters.

Conversations offer new plot twists.

Mistakes can become powerful teachers, instead of permanent labels.

Every time you encounter a different way of living, you’re handed a chance to update your normal.

Like the moment you realise that rest can coexist with ambition.

Or that boundaries can coexist with kindness.

That joy can coexist with responsibility.

A life that breathes and evolves will naturally change what feels normal over time.

Your normal expanding as you do.

Here are some simple, practical ways to update your normal in real time:

Catch your automatic phrases: Notice when you say things like that’s just how I do it or that’s just how I am. Use those moments as cues. Ask yourself, what have I been tolerating here that no longer serves me. You are never a finished product.

Follow your discomfort: When something new feels uncomfortable but not unsafe, get curious. Are you feeling fear because it’s wrong for you, or because it’s unfamiliar? There’s a big difference.

Listen for inherited beliefs: Pay attention to statements in your mind that sound like they belong to someone else. A parent, teacher, an old version of you. Do you actually agree with this now?

Invite in different stories: Spend time with people whose lives don’t look like yours. Read about people who live differently. Let their experiences show you new options you didn’t realise existed.

Celebrate every shift: When you notice yourself responding differently (setting a boundary, being kinder to yourself, taking a new risk) acknowledge it. These moments are proof that your normal is expanding. This is incredibly healthy.

Each new decision becomes a vote for the life you want to live.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe.

If your normal never changes?

Life turns into replay instead of a real, unfolding story.

Life is meant to evolve, and so are you.

Each chapter of your story adds a new layer of fresh curiosity and opens you to a different kind of wonder.

As you keep updating your normal, replacing beliefs with facts and replacing what’s always been with what could be.

You expand your capacity for joy and possibility.

You can honour where you came from while still choosing where you’re going.

You can appreciate what once kept you safe while still making room for what now helps you grow.

The patterns we grew up with are stepping stones.

Because a life that breathes, a life that’s awake, will always stretch beyond the boundaries of the familiar.

And when you make space for that expansion?

When you let your sense of normal grow with you.

You don’t just live differently.

You live fully.

If you’re curious about the science behind this?

Here’s a few interesting reads that echo what we’ve explored today:

On a cool October morning in Toronto, a tiny man in a bright yellow turban shuffled his way to the marathon start line.

Around him, runners checked their watches, shook out their legs and prepared for the race.

Fauja Singh worried about whether his beard was tied back properly and whether his legs would carry him, like they always had.

He was 100 years old.

Spectators squinted at his bib number, 10001, and then again at the date on his registration.

It looked like a mistake.

It wasn’t.

Hours later, crossing the finish line of the Toronto Waterfront Marathon in a little over eight hours, Fauja became the first person on record to complete a marathon at 100.

“Normal” at that age often means slowing down, walking carefully, staying home.

Fauja waltzed straight past that idea with every step he took.

Fauja grew up in rural Punjab, India.

The concept of running never crossing his mind.

In fact, he was a small, underweight child who didn’t walk until he was about five, and was often teased for being weak.

His early life revolved around fields, family and routine work.

Decades later, he moved to the UK in his 80s to be closer to his children.

He carried a lifetime along with him filled with joy, loss, and also heartbreak.

He’d lost his wife.

He’d lost a son in a construction accident.

As a result, the weight of grief pressed in on him.

To combat it, he made the active choice to start walking more.

Then jogging.

The movement gave him a way to carry his pain without letting it pin him to the ground.

Within his local Sikh community, he met running coach Harmander Singh.

Their leisurely jogs in the park and the joy he felt while doing it, sparked a question within him.

What if he entered a race?

Before you know it, at 89 years of age, he stood at the start of the London Marathon.

Successfully finishing the 42 kilometre course in 6 hours 54 minutes, setting a new record for his age category.

Incredible, right?

Plenty of people would place that race on a shelf as a one‑time story.

For Fauja though?

This was just the beginning.

With Harmander’s support, Fauja’s running world expanded.

London, New York, Toronto, Mumbai.

He kept showing up at marathon start lines throughout his 90s.

At 92, he ran a 5:40 marathon in Toronto, a time many younger runners would celebrate.

The Toronto Waterfront Marathon became a meaningful chapter in his life.

Organisers remember the year he arrived with a small group, his yellow turban easy to spot in a sea of caps, determined to show what’s possible at age 100.

Sadly, Guinness World Records decided not to certify his 100‑year‑old marathon because he didn’t present a birth certificate from 1911.

Even so, the image of him crossing that finish line travelled around the world.

At 101 years old, he completed his "retirement race," a 10km event in Hong Kong.

After that, he stepped away from official events and stuck to long daily walks.

Continuing to cover around six miles a day well into his 100s.

When people asked him why he continued?

He would point to two simple ideas:

How running made him feel, and that it might encourage others.

This attention mattered to him.

Because it helped shine a light on a different version of ageing and possibility.

We grow up surrounded by messages about ageing.

That your world is supposed to get smaller.

That you should settle more, or start scaling your life back.

That ambitious goals belong to people younger than you.

Fauja’s approach didn’t erase the realities of age for him.

He chose to adapt as his body changed.

His training always cautious with his coach and doctor monitoring him closely, refusing to let a number decide when his curiosity had to end.

He once joked that his approach was simple.

No smoking, no alcohol and as little stress as possible.

Add a healthy diet and regular exercise and that’s a platform for sustained success.

Light vegetarian food, early nights, regular training, strong relationships and community.

His days followed a consistent routine that allowed him to push himself.

For Fauja, a long run followed by a cup of tea felt natural at 90 in the same way it would at 40.

His age did matter.

It just never got the final say.

He did.

Now, you don’t have to run a marathon to draw strength from his story:

Question the too late label: Fauja became a serious runner in his late 80s. Many treat that period of life as the time to step back from new challenges. He stepped toward one. Choose an area where you feel behind and ask yourself whether that belief is something you were taught, or something you really believe.

Define your own version of aging well: His approach relied on small, steady but impactful habits. Walking, running, diet, sleep, community. No complicated hacks. You can design your own version of aging with intention, by shaping what helps you feel strong, clear minded and socially connected.

Let movement support your inner life: He started running to cope with his grief, rather than project a certain image. Movement gave him a way to process his emotions, meet people and feel more capable from the inside out. Whatever you choose (walking, dancing, swimming) can become an anchor that steadies your mind as much as your body.

Borrow belief when your own feels thin: Without Harmander, that first marathon may not have happened. One person’s belief can act as a bridge when your own confidence wavers. Think about who might stand beside you as you try something new? And where you might be that presence for someone else.

Let your choices widen what others see as possible: Fauja knew that his running pushed people to reconsider their own limits. Your life can do that too. Small choices (how you age, how you travel, how you respond to setbacks) can expand a sense of what’s possible for anyone watching.

Sadly, in July 2025, Fauja Singh passed away at 114 years of age.

He was out for a regular walk near his village in Punjab, when a car struck him in a hit and run.

He later died in hospital from his injuries.

He was still moving through the world on his own two feet.

Living the very message (to stay active, curious and engaged) he’d shared for decades.

No matter what your age.

Fauja Singh takes the word normal and shrinks it down to something much smaller and less intimidating.

For him, normal lives in the act of lacing up, stepping forward and seeing what the next mile brings.

Whether you’re 40, 80 or 100.

His story underscores that the rules we follow about life stages are often just repeated patterns.

Passed along from others without curiosity or questions.

When you pay attention though?

You notice where you’ve unintentionally decided you’re too old.

Or too late.

Or not the type to try something new.

When you find a hobby or an activity that lifts you?

It gives you a new lease on life and the opportunity to find joy where you didn’t know it existed.

When you step outside the usual frame of what a certain age is meant to look like?

You see more of the picture.

Just like Fauja did when he laced up in his late 80s

So, step back and take a look at where you are today.

Then imagine your own version of running a race at 100.

Whatever that looks like in your world, at whatever age you are today.

If you want to hear more from Singh himself, check out this BBC interview at 114 years old:

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This week I’m recommending the new album Garip by Altin Gün.

One of my favourite pastimes is discovering new music.

Every so often an artist clicks in a way that wakes up my curiosity.

Each listen revealing something I missed the time before and I find myself pressing play again just to chase that feeling.

I discovered Altin Gün recently, listening to one of their earlier albums, before realising a new one was about to drop.

It didn’t disappoint.

It’s a rich, engaging album full of highlights and moments that reward you for coming back to it.

Altin Gün mix traditional Turkish folk influences with modern psychedelic, funk and rock in a way that feels grounded and very listenable.

They’re a Dutch‑Turkish psych‑folk band from Amsterdam, known for reimagining classic Turkish folk songs with funk rhythms, psychedelic grooves and analogue synths.

The album is built around ten songs by legendary Turkish folk artist Neşet Ertaş, with Altin Gün interpreting his original work via their own sound.

The grooves are strong, the rhythms are inviting and the songs flow well into each other.

You can easily let the album run from start to finish.

It’s a great way to step a little outside your ‘normal’ musical comfort zone without feeling lost.

There’s plenty of melody and rhythm to hold onto, and at the same time you hear different sounds that stretch your ears (and mind) a little.

It’s the type of album that works as either a focused listen or just as a backdrop to your day.

Here are a few simple ways to weave Garip into your week:

Workday backdrop: Put it on while you reply to emails, plan out your day, or tackle focused tasks. The steady groove helps you stay in motion without feeling rushed.

Listen with Curiosity: Give it a spin where you pay attention to a single layer of the music. The bass, the percussion, or the vocals. You’ll start to notice how many small details are sitting just under the surface of each track.

Share it with someone: Play it for someone who enjoys discovering new music. Trade notes on which tracks stand out. This turns a regular listen into a shared adventure.

These are small shifts, but they turn ordinary pockets of time into something that feels more intentional.

For me, albums like Garip keep the act of listening to music feeling fresh.

There’s a real joy in finding something new and absorbing it fully.

I absolutely believe there is too much great music out there to focus your time on what is popular (or normal).

It reminds me how important it is to stay curious.

About art, about culture and about the sounds that spark something within us.

Even if we can’t fully explain why.

If you’re looking for something groove‑driven and full of interesting corners to explore?

Garip is a great album to spend time with.

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

Normal can feel cosy.

The same routine, the same people, the same patterns.

You can predict how the day usually goes.

That familiarity can be a comforting thing.

Especially when life feels uncertain.

The catch is though, that if you only ever walk that smooth, predictable road?

You don’t leave much room for surprise, for curiosity, or those moments when you discover how good life can feel.

As a word, normal is often misused.

Your version of normal didn’t appear out of nowhere.

It was shaped by the environment you grew up in.

The culture around you, what was praised, what was criticised.

And how the adults in your life handled love, money, stress, rest, communication.

Over time, your body and brain simply labelled it as how things just are.

Someone else’s normal might be loud where yours is quiet.

Adventurous where yours is cautious.

Emotionally open where yours is private.

You live in the same world but on a different standard setting.

That’s why the word normal feels a litte absurd when you think about it.

It sounds like a universal rule, but it’s more like a long‑running habit.

When you forget that?

It becomes easy to walk the same safe path long after it’s stopped feeling alive.

You’re busy, you’re moving, but something inside feels stuck in place.

Stepping away from that paved road allows you to experience uneven ground now and then.

Trying out that new class that stretches you.

Having the honest conversation you know you need to have.

Taking the trip, starting the project, or testing the boundary that makes you a little nervous.

That’s where the flowers grow.

In the parts of life you haven’t walked a thousand times before.

Here are a few simple ways to play with this in real life:

Question one “this is just how I am”: Pick one area where you feel stuck. Work, relationships, health, confidence. Then notice a line you repeat about yourself there. Ask yourself, “What if this is just what I learned, not who I am?” That simple question puts a crack in the old pavement.

Try an experiment: Choose one action that is different from your usual pattern. Speak up once when you’d usually stay quiet. Rest when you’d usually push through. Say yes to something you would usually push away. Treat it as an experiment, not a complete makeover.

Borrow someone else’s normal: Think of someone you admire? It might be for their kindness or their curiosity. Ask yourself, “How would they handle this situation?” Then try it out, in a way that still feels like you.

Notice where life feels flat: Scan your week and spot one aspect that feels like you’re sleepwalking through it. Your commute, your evenings, your daily exercise. Search for one way you could bring more presence or meaning to this?” Sometimes the flower grows from a new intention inside an old routine.

Keep the parts of your normal that support you and plant a few wildflowers along the edges.

Comfort can be a trap.

You don’t have to abandon it but making it who you are will cost you countless moments and life experiences.

I like thinking of normal as a road I am allowed to walk, without assuming it’s the only one available.

That shift keeps me honest about when I’m on autopilot, and when I’m actually awake to my life.

When I choose to step off the paved path?

I feel less like life is happening to me, and more like I’m living it, fully.

This week, notice one place where YOUR normal feels a little too smooth.

Where it feels a bit too narrow.

It could be the perfect spot to step onto the grass and see what has been waiting for you.

The real you.

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