Why Most Resolutions Fail

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Each week, I’ll share actionable insights that not only brighten your day but position you to be a leader within your own life and seize life’s opportunities.

Read time: 20-30 minutes.

Hello, Brighter Side readers! ☀️

Happy New Year!

Wishing each of you a wonderful year ahead filled with health, happiness and success.

Ok, we’re four days into January.

How are those resolutions going?

Be honest.

This week, we explore how identity based habits rewire your brain and help make those resolutions stick, from the inside out.

We also highlight the life of Cathy Freeman who carried a nation’s hopes at Sydney 2000 and still chooses calm, grounded optimism long after her retirement.

And, because January often prompts questions about alcohol?

I’m recommending a documentary that provides a clear, modern science-based explanation of how drinking impacts your body and brain.

That way, you can make informed decisions without feeling guilty.

If you’re keen for a New Year that starts with your mindset (not just your calendar), this one’s for you.

See you on the Brighter Side,

Chris

P.S. Please feel free to send me feedback on how I can improve. I respond to every email.

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If you go into 2026 with the same mindset?

You know, telling yourself the same stories and following familiar patterns.

You’ll simply reproduce the same results in a different calendar year.

Fresh resolutions, shiny planners, even perfect habits will struggle to stick if the operating system in your mind remains the same.

Real, lasting change comes from retraining your brain.

Shifting what you crave, how you think and who you believe you are.​

Every January, the world rushes to do the same thing at the same time.

New promises.

New pressure.

On top of everything else in their life.

The truth though?

Herd mentality gets herd results.

Your life starts to change when you stop copying the crowd and start questioning the approach.​

There’s a reason “New Year, New Me” so often turns into “New Year, Same Stuff.”

And it’s not because people are weak or lazy.

Surveys show that only around 8–10% of people actually achieve their New Year’s resolutions.

Around 80–90% abandon them within the year.

Many within the first few weeks.

Why?

Because most resolution approaches are built around dates on a calendar.

Not the reality of your life or your genuine readiness to change.

Typical approaches are:

And the result?

People blame themselves.

When in reality the structure was flawed from the start.

Your brain isn’t just along for the ride, it’s actually steering everything.

It looooves the familiar.

The predictable and efficient.

Even if that familiarity isn’t actually good for you.

Read that again ⬆

This is where neuroplasticity comes in.

Neuroplasticity is your brain’s ability to rewire itself, to form new pathways based on what you repeatedly think, feel and do.

Every time you repeat a behaviour?

You strengthen the neural circuit that supports it.

Making it easier to do next time.

Every time you don’t engage in an old habit?

The pathway that supported it slowly weakens from disuse.

If your core beliefs remain:

Then your brain searches for evidence to prove these stories right.

It pulls you back to what matches that identity.

New year, same wiring.

I’ve spent much of my adult life studying and observing human behaviour.

My greatest passion surrounds the power of optimism but right there with it, understanding the mental mechanics behind creating positive change.

In recent years I’ve experienced first‑hand that when you successfully change your wiring?

You change your life.

Here are some recent personal examples that first began as goals:

And now?

They’re no longer goals I’m trying to white‑knuckle with willpower.

They’re just who I am.

Now, I crave the good stuff.

I look forward to exercise, to healthy food and doing work that aligns with me.

Even when I don’t feel like doing it.

The greater draw is the feeling it delivers afterward.

The sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and mental clarity is worth pushing through the initial reluctance.

It reminds me why I pushed myself to begin in the first place.

From our brain’s perspective?

This is exactly what the research describes.

Repeated healthy behaviours, linked to positive emotion, literally rewire reward pathways resulting in positive choices feeling more appealing and automatic.

Over time, my identity shifted.

From “someone trying to be healthy and intentional.”

To “someone who simply lives this way.”

This makes relapse far less likely and consistency far more natural.

I didn’t just set goals.

I became a different kind of person in my own mind.

And my brain followed.

The calendar is neutral.

It doesn’t have any magic in it.

The magic lies purely in what you do consistently.

Research on behaviour change and habit formation indicates that the success of a habit is far more about repetition and context than about “when” you start.

Small, manageable steps, achieved consistently, create more lasting change than huge, dramatic overhauls done in short bursts.

You can start on a random Tuesday in March.

You can reset on a Thursday afternoon after a tough morning.

You don’t have to wait for a new year or specific date to give yourself a fresh start.

You can start any day of the year.

You can win every day of the year.

The calendar is not the boss of your growth.

The key is to retrain your brain.

Not just your to‑do list.

But what does “retraining your brain” look like in practice?

For starters, it’s way more grounded than a vision board or a slogan.

But don’t get me wrong, they can be a great way to support your change.

Just don’t rely on them to get the job done.

Here's what it takes to retrain your brain:

Instead of:

“I want to lose weight.”

“I want to drink less.”

“I want to be more present with my kids.”

Ask:

“Who do I want to be in this area of my life?”

“What kind of person do I want my brain to assume I am?”

Examples:

“I’m someone that honours my energy and health.”

“I’m someone who treats alcohol as an occasional choice, not a default.”

“I’m a present, engaged parent who really sees my kids.”

Research on behaviour change consistently shows that identity based goals are stickier because our brain works hard to stay consistent with how you see yourself.

Lie to yourself and your brain will eventually start to believe the falsehoods.

The result?

You’ve blurred the line between reality and fiction.

The majority fail because they try to change everything, everywhere, all at once.

While strategies backed by real evidence emphasise choosing one small, specific behaviour that you could do even on your worst day.

You can keep it simple by tying it to something you already do.

After your coffee, after your brushing teeth, after dinner.

Instead of: “I’ll work out an hour every day.”

Try: “I’ll move my body for 10 minutes after breakfast.”

Instead of: “I’m going to overhaul my diet.”

Try: “I’ll add one serving of grains and one serving of vegetables to my lunch.”

Sound almost too easy?

That’s because you’re finally working with your brain.

Not against it.

And here’s where the magic starts to happen.

When you start small and win?

The wins compound over time.

Each success builds momentum and your confidence comes along for the ride.

You start to trust that you can actually do this.

10 push ups become 20 and 20 becomes 30.

That belief begins to shape your choices and your choices start to match that belief.

When you make all‑encompassing resolutions and expect to get there quickly, you’re setting yourself up to fail.

Don’t get me wrong.

You can absolutely have audacious goals, big dreams and a bold vision for your life.

But no shortcut or life hack is going to get you there.

Too many are obsessed with shortcuts and the illusion of a fast track.

Take shortcuts and you never really learn anything properly.

You skip the depth, the resilience, the real mastery behind concepts.

Focus, work ethic and patience are the closest thing you can get to a cheat code in life.

They’re not flashy.

But they’re what actually moves the needle over time.

Research specifically on New Year’s resolutions indicates that approach‑oriented goals (moving toward something you want) are more successful than avoidance‑oriented goals (moving away from something you don’t).

Avoidance:

“Stop eating rubbish.”

“Stop scrolling at night.”

Approach:

“Add one healthy meal a day that makes me feel good.”

“End my day with one page of reading instead of my phone.”

Our brain responds better to a clear, positive direction than a vague order to stop.

Neuroplasticity thrives on repetition infused with emotion.

After a workout?

Pause and notice how you feel.

Calmer, clearer, stronger.

After an evening spent being present with your kids?

Notice the joy, the connection, the warmth.

At least once a week, ask yourself:

“Where did I follow through with my new identity?”

“What made it easier? What got in the way?”

Writing this down or simply reflecting strengthens the new neural pathways that affirms, this is who I am now.

One simple way to do this is with a daily gratitude journal.

Just a few lines each day to track what’s going well, what I’m proud of and where I lived in alignment with where I want to be.

Over time, this focused reflection trains your brain to notice your progress and see possibility instead of scanning purely for what’s wrong.

Blocking outside noise might sound simple, but it’s the most powerful step.

So much of the resolution cycle is driven by comparison and pressure.

What everyone else is doing.

What everyone else is buying.

What everyone else is posting.

Behavioural science and habit research both point to the importance of the environment you create for yourself.

The less you expose yourself to triggers or unhelpful comparison, the more mental energy you have for your own path.

Also, curating your inputs, like who you follow, what you read and what conversations you feed, makes it easier to stick to what matters most to you.

You don’t have to move like others, think like others, or change like others.

You need to do it purely for you.

Just keep taking your next small step, consistently.

So, here’s the heart of this message, wrapped in both lived experience and science.

Over 80–90% of traditional New Year’s resolutions don’t last.

Not because people are broken but because the approach is.

Your brain is capable of change (at any age) through neuroplasticity.

The key to this change?

Small, repeated, meaningful actions tied to a clear identity.

Then build and compound from there.

You can start any day.

You can win any day.

You just need to start small, be consistent and tune out the noise long enough for new neural pathways to form.

It’s never too late to make positive change.

As long as you do it in a way that retrains your brain, not just your schedule.

The calendar might turn the page for you.

But it can’t live the next chapter.

That part is yours.

One small, honest choice at a time.

Stack enough of those choices?

And the life you used to plan for becomes the life you’re actually living.

Cathy Freeman is an Australian legend.

Her story is one of speed, determination and a profound impact on her country's cultural landscape.

Freeman not only excelled in her field but also became a symbol of hope and unity, particularly during the 2000 Sydney Olympics.

Her story transcends the track because, even while carrying a nation’s hopes, the weight of her community’s history and her own fierce determination, she kept choosing optimism.

Cathy grew up in Mackay, a coastal town in Queensland, Australia.

She was winning races by eight and dreaming big in a country where opportunities often appeared further away for Aboriginal kids.

Her exceptional talent led her to the world stage early.

Commonwealth Games gold at 16.

Olympic finals while still a teenager.

But for her, the spotlight always came with something extra.

Every time she pulled on Australia’s iconic green and gold she carried with her the weight of Australia’s long, unfinished story with its Indigenous peoples.

At the 1994 Commonwealth Games she famously ran a victory lap with both the Australian and Aboriginal flags.

A gesture of pride and hope that sparked national conversation and controversy at the time.​

Even then, she kept speaking and running from a place of calm conviction rather than bitterness.

Years before her famous run at the Sydney Olympic Games, there was an Easter weekend at the Stawell Gift (Australia's oldest and most famous professional footrace).

In 1996, Cathy ran the women’s 400‑metre handicap, starting from the back mark while the “front markers” were given more than 50 metres head‑start.​​

For anyone unfamiliar with handicap racing?

The fastest runners start on or near the standard starting line known as scratch, and others, based on past times, are moved forward on the track.

So that, in theory, everyone will hit the finish together if they all run on form.​

It means that if you are on scratch at Stawell, you spend the entire race chasing the tails of those already well down the track when the gun goes.

I was lucky enough to watch witness her incredible run at Stawell.

Standing trackside, I watched her settle into the blocks on scratch.

Then launch into a run that felt impossible.

Reeling in athletes with more than 50 metres’ head‑start one by one before pipping the leader right at the tape.​​

It was astonishing to see.

Physically, but just as striking mentally.

She ran as if the 50 metre gap was simply another story she refused to accept.

You can watch the race yourself here, and good luck holding back the goosebumps:

In Atlanta later that year, Cathy won silver, crossing the line just behind French champion Marie‑José Pérec.

While it wasn’t gold, for many watching back home, it confirmed she belonged at the very top of the sport.

Her Olympic story wasn’t finished yet.

Four years later, the world watched as Cathy, in a white suit, lit the cauldron at the opening ceremony of the Sydney Olympics.

A moment designed to both honour Aboriginal culture and signal a more honest, inclusive Australia.​

Ten days later, she stepped onto the track for the 400‑metre final.

Wearing her now‑iconic full body hooded suit.

The stadium holding its collective breath.

She was the favourite on paper, but this race was so much more than just a race.

For many Indigenous Australians, it was a question.

Can one of us stand at the very centre of this national moment and be celebrated

Cathy ran from lane six, staying patient down the back straight.

She then surged through the final bend and held off the field to win gold in 49.11 seconds.​

The roar in that stadium provided a glimpse of what a different story for the country might sound like.

Her lap of honour with both flags felt like an invitation to imagine a future written together.

No longer apart.​

Cathy retired from elite athletics in 2003.

She did not however, ever retire from optimism.​

In 2007 she founded the Cathy Freeman Foundation (now known as Murrup).

Partnering with remote Aboriginal communities to support school attendance, learning and long‑term educational outcomes for children on islands and in outback towns.​

The work is practical.

Reading programs, student awards, cultural camps, family engagement.

Small and consistent signals to kids that their futures matter and that finishing school is a powerful act of self‑determination.​

Cathy wanted to help reduce the education gap so that the next generation doesn't have to face the same struggle she did just to get started.

Her voice remains gentle and steady, more interested in listening to community leaders and amplifying their goals than in chasing personal spotlight.

Her optimism here is not “everything is fine”; it is “everything can be different, and we will keep turning up for that work.”​

Here are a few key lesson’s from her journey that are worth carrying into everyday life:

1. Run your race, even when the start line feels unfair: From childhood racism to back marker at Stawell, Cathy often began behind. Literally and socially.​​ She showed immense strength, kept turning up and used every race as a place to express possibility rather than resentment.

2. Let your gifts carry more than your own ambition: She could have treated sprinting as a purely individual pursuit, many do. Cathy consistently used her platform to honour community, culture and the hope of reconciliation.​ Whatever your own gift is? She invites you to let it carry something bigger.

3. Remember that the real race continues off the track: Cathy’s gold in Sydney was unforgettable. Her work in remote communities may prove even more significant over time.​ The glow of big moments fade, whereas the glow of a child discovering their own potential tends to last.

What I love about Cathy Freeman’s story is that she never pretended every race is run on even terms.

She chose to run (and win) even when it wasn’t.

From a country town in Queensland to the noise of Sydney’s Olympic Stadium, she kept meeting each challenge.

On the clock, in society, in opportunity.

With calm, determined hope.​​

That hope didn’t magically fix everything but it displayed progress for thousands of kids.

Kids who saw an Aboriginal woman lighting an Olympic cauldron, claiming gold on the global stage and then turning her attention to their classrooms and communities.​

Most of us will never run an Olympic final or light a cauldron.

Still, somewhere in our own lives there’s a situation that feels tilted.

A story that says “people like you don’t win from here”.

The invitation is simple.

What would it look like to lean forward anyway and run your race as if your effort could expand what is possible for those to follow.

If you’ve never seen this race, I encourage you to watch it.

Actually, even if you have, I encourage you to watch it.

Once again, good luck controlling the goosebumps:

Now that you better understand identity and how our brains actually change?

It felt natural to zoom in on one habit that often comes up in January: drinking.

Not from a place of “I must stop forever” (though this could certainly be your path after watching) but from a softer question: “Is this still working for me?”

If you’re feeling even a little curious about that?

The New Science of Alcohol from CBC’s The Nature of Things is a grounded, science‑based watch.

It pulls back the curtain on what alcohol is actually doing to your body and brain.

So that any choice you make about drinking comes from clarity.

Not pressure.

It’s a captivating watch and one that provides insights that could alter your choices moving forward.

It follows Anthony Morgan, a self‑described moderate drinker, as he asks, “Is my level of drinking actually low‑risk?”

From there, he walks through research on alcohol’s impact on cancer risk, heart and brain health, sleep and mood.

It also explains why previous studies made moderate drinking seem safer than it is.

You also learn from newer guidance suggesting that more than a couple of drinks a week increases health risk, and that from a medical perspective there’s no truly “safe” level of alcohol.​

Tough to hear given the lengths we often go to in order to justify our drinking habits.

At the same time, this documentary doesn’t treat alcohol as purely harmful.

It explores why we enjoy it.

The social bonding.

The way it can soften awkwardness.

The sense of ritual at the end of a long day.

That balance keeps the tone aligned with informed choice rather than guilt.

It’s far less “you must stop” and more “here’s the full picture, what do you want to do with this info?”​

The overall tone is curious rather than judgemental.

This makes it a comfortable watch even if you’re still figuring out what you want your own relationship with alcohol to look like.

Experts are crystal clear about the risks.

Yet there’s very little shame based language.

Instead, they ask practical questions like “How did we end up believing a nightly glass of wine was good for you?”

Or “What happens to our brain when drinking becomes routine?​”

You also see how this science shows up in real lives.

They share brain scans and data and showcase people re‑examining their drinking habits, trying periods of less and reshaping the role alcohol plays in their social world.

It reinforces that there isn’t one correct path.

There’s a spectrum of options.

And you’re allowed to find the version that fits your values and season of life.​

By viewing drinking through the same lens as your resolutions: identity first, behaviour second, this documentary lands in a hopeful place.

It doesn’t demand that alcohol disappear from your life or suggest there’s only one correct decision.

Instead, it provides enough science with real-life examples so that if you decide to drink less or in a different way, it can come from a place of "this is who I want to be" rather than "I'm doing something wrong."

It supports the idea of becoming someone who honours their health and long‑term wellbeing, while recognising that everyone’s version of that identity looks a little different.​

Personally, in recent years, I’ve moved from regular drinker to occasional drinker.

The impact on my health (especially mental clarity and sleep) has been obvious and worthwhile.

And while I doubt I’ll ever abstain 100%, I know it now plays a background role in my life.

I rarely think of it as an option, and even when it is?

My first thought is always that I’m better off without it.

If alcohol plays any role in your life, this film is worth setting aside some time for.

Not to feel guilty, but to feel better informed and more aligned with yourself.

After watching, you might find yourself looking at it with new eyes.

And that is a good thing.

Please share; I'm always keen for great suggestions.

Too many dismiss optimism as wishful thinking or naive positivity.

Truth is they don’t understand the difference.

I’ve always believed it’s something far more powerful.

A strategy for creating the future you want to live in.

Noam Chomsky captured this beautifully: "Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, it's unlikely you will step up and take responsibility for making it so."​

This resonates deeply with how I have always lived.

Optimism isn’t pretending problems don’t exist or ignoring what’s hard.

It’s believing that your actions matter, that change is possible and that the future is still unwritten.

Without that belief, why would anyone take the risk to try or to build?

Optimism is the fuel that drives effort, courage and responsibility.

I’ve lived as an optimist for as long as I can remember and it’s shaped every part of my life.

It’s an active choice to see potential where others see dead ends.

It means asking "What if this could work?” or “How can I figure this out?” instead of simply assuming it won’t.

It will never guarantee smooth sailing, but it will keep you moving forward and empower you to work through challenges.

Even when the path is unclear.

Here’s what I have learned:

Pessimism might feel safer in the moment, but it keeps you stuck.

When you believe nothing will change, you stop looking for solutions.

You stop experimenting.

You stop learning.

You stop growing.

Optimism, on the other hand, opens doors.

It helps you see possibilities you might have missed and gives you the energy to act on them.

Being optimistic allows me to approach challenges differently.

Instead of asking "Why bother?" I ask "What can I do?"

That simple shift has led to opportunities & connections I never would have experienced otherwise.

Optimism has been my compass.

Guiding me toward what’s possible rather than what is limiting.

Here are a few ways to practice optimism as a strategy this week:

Optimism allows you to shape your reality.

It’s the belief that YOUR choices, your effort and your perspective can influence what comes next.

That belief is what gives you the courage to take responsibility and create something better.

The future isn’t fixed.

It’s built by people who believe it can be better and who are willing to do the work to make it so.

I choose optimism because I know what it creates.

Not perfection, but progress.

Not certainty, but possibility.

What’s one small step you could take this week toward a future you believe in

Remember though: optimism is a strategy that starts with believing what you do matters.

Transform your daily routine with my specially crafted gratitude journal.

Start (or end) each day with a moment of reflection and positivity.

As you develop daily your gratitude, you're also helping grant wishes to children facing critical illnesses.

It's a powerful cycle of hope and optimism.

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